1
00:00:00,00 --> 00:00:03,900
So one of my GM's called me over and says 
'hey- look at this guy Sickidan's profile'.

2
00:00:06,300 --> 00:00:15,800
It's some idiot in Kansas with three autistic 
friends (fat). No idea why he's with them- 
possibly sympathy.

3
00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:20,700
He thinks he can get to Grand Master with 
them

4
00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:25,600
He does

5
00:00:30,700 --> 00:00:36,800
This poor guy has to drag his retarded friends- 
[chokes]

6
00:00:36,900 --> 00:00:39,100
two who [chokes again]

7
00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:44,700
can't even get into Diamond and another who 
can only play two heroes.

8
00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:51,400
Through every game while also stopping some 
pub from insta-locking Abathur

9
00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:53,700
And he has to do this every game

10
00:00:53,900 --> 00:00:57,500
AND THE POOR GUY STILL THINKS HE CAN MAKE 
IT TO GRAND MASTER

11
00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:04,100
ONE OF HIS FRIENDS ONLY PLAYS TANKS BUT DOESNT 
OWN LEORIC

12
00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:09,000
AND HAD TO GOOGLE WHAT PEEL MEANT

13
00:01:09,100 --> 00:01:11,300
[pulls up Sickidan's profile]

14
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:26,700
THIS GUYS BEST CHANCE WAS WHEN HE WAS PLAYING 
WITH A BIPOLAR GAY GUY WHO WOULD STOP MID 
GAME TO PM HIS TEAMMATES

15
00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:33,200
[Pulls up Seio ranked win-rate]

16
00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:38,100
This fucking guy has to ask his pubs every 
game to not go double mage

17
00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:43,000
AND WE MAKE SURE THEY DO IT

18
00:01:43,100 --> 00:01:44,300
No but in all seriousness

19
00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:49,200
We are very powerful and are actively making 
sure Sickidan does not get into Grand Master

20
00:01:49,300 --> 00:01:49,800
[pulls out note from Chris Metzen]

21
00:01:49,900 --> 00:01:54,700
"Fuck em" -C.M

22
00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:59,600
WE TURNED OFF THE BALANCE FOR HIS MATCH MAKING

23
00:01:59,700 --> 00:02:04,500
It fucking gives him Bronze players against 
Rank 1 Grand Masters

24
00:02:09,100 --> 00:02:22,300
AND THEN WE, AND THEN WE DOCK HIM PERSONAL 
ADJUSTMENT POINTS [chokes again]

25
00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:24,300
WE HAVE POST-IT NOTES ALL OVER THE OFFICE

26
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:26,100
SAYING 'IF CHAD GETS TOO CLOSE'

27
00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:27,300
START PUTTING HIM UP AGAINST KOREANS

28
00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:28,600
BUT CHANGE THE NAMES TO SOMETHING ENGLISH

29
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:30,400
And this works?

30
00:02:30,500 --> 00:02:35,300
Every time- he just thinks he has BAD LUCK

31
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:39,800
HIS FRIENDS ARE SO FUCKING BAD HE HAS NO 
IDEA

32
00:02:39,900 --> 00:02:41,400
HIS ONE FRIEND CAME BACK FOR GARROSH

33
00:02:41,500 --> 00:02:43,500
SO WE STARTED MAKING SURE HE GOT BANNED

34
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,600
*wipes head with Chris Metzen note*

35
00:02:49,700 --> 00:02:53,400
Oh shit I ruined it- it's okay though we 
have that poor guy on lock

36
00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:58,500
You mentioned he plays Gazlowe?

37
00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:00,000
Oh yeah, so this poor guy has a 92% win rate

38
00:03:00,100 --> 00:03:02,100
with Gazlowe...

39
00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:04,800
So we're taking him out next patch

40
00:03:04,900 --> 00:03:09,700
What's he going to do play Probius?

41
00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:14,600
Oh god I love this job

42
00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:15,000
[dies]

43
00:03:15,100 --> 00:03:18,100
But yeah he thinks he can get to Grand Master

44
00:03:24,100 --> 00:03:30,200
I will be fucking dead before I let him

45
00:03:30,300 --> 00:03:32,300
[laughs assuredly]

46
00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:35,600
I swear to god I'll come over and cut his 
ethernet cable if I have to

47
00:03:35,700 --> 00:03:41,000
[blizzard]