1
00:00:00,00 --> 00:00:04,000
Ticket sales have been really slow at all 
your previous shows

2
00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:06,800
In fact, we've had cancel shows here.

3
00:00:06,900 --> 00:00:10,100
Getting rowlsted by Areel hasn't helped either 
sir

4
00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:15,000
This show here, San Antonio, is looking like 
a disaster

5
00:00:15,100 --> 00:00:19,900
Have you tried getting another story out 
about those fat fucks I saved from the car?

6
00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:25,300
Bapa...

7
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:26,300
Shrimp...

8
00:00:28,900 --> 00:00:35,300
Shrimp already blasted it out to his 12 followers. 
You've only sold 18 tickets

9
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:58,500
Anyone not willing to chip in for the AirBeanB 
leave the room...

10
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:12,200
That fucking Areel Dasani

11
00:01:12,300 --> 00:01:14,300
This is his fucking fault

12
00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:19,200
First I lose the Showltime gig

13
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:24,100
Messican goes and fucks the florist in Vegas

14
00:01:25,500 --> 00:01:28,800
The homeless cats are going to eat me alive.

15
00:01:29,900 --> 00:01:35,100
PF Changs will prolly have All you Can Eat 
Onj Chicken

16
00:01:36,500 --> 00:01:38,000
Could we try booking a smaller venue?

17
00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:41,100
It's a fucking car park, there is nothing 
smaller!

18
00:01:41,500 --> 00:01:43,100
Bapa, you told us you always sold out in 
teggsis

19
00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:46,400
Of corsl I do Bapa, especially since Daddy 
Rogan moved there

20
00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:51,300
I even got this fucking tattoo

21
00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:53,900
Now Rogan won't even have me back!

22
00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:58,800
I've got these dumass powlcasters with only 
800 susscribers asking me on their show

23
00:01:58,900 --> 00:02:02,400
They do not maddur! I might aswell be doing 
Meet n Greets at the PF Changs!

24
00:02:02,500 --> 00:02:07,300
Get Joe Rogan on the phone

25
00:02:07,700 --> 00:02:11,300
These fucking homeless cats

26
00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:17,100
Don't they know I'm hairo B

27
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,000
Put the show on Groupon

28
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:27,000
And cancel the Friday show

29
00:02:27,900 --> 00:02:31,900
Make a booking at that massage parlour

30
00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:35,100
Gimmie...

31
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:40,000
Tell me how Bisping is selling out his talking 
shows

32
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:44,900
He's not even a real cawlmedian

33
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,800
That was MY Dream

34
00:02:49,900 --> 00:02:51,000
Ever since I first listned to Adam Sandal

35
00:02:51,100 --> 00:02:54,200
Jim Pryor and Richard Carlin

36
00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:56,600
They were my hairos B

37
00:02:57,700 --> 00:03:00,900
It's okay Messican, Stevies here

38
00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:09,700
Maybe Darren Till was right..

39
00:03:10,100 --> 00:03:14,600
But I'll always have my bank account...

40
00:03:16,900 --> 00:03:19,500
My special...

41
00:03:22,500 --> 00:03:24,400
Interns, I still have you...

42
00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:33,800
And if Messican sells a few more shoes

43
00:03:34,300 --> 00:03:36,900
We can still afford the nanny

44
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:43,600
and I won't have to deal with those kids

45
00:03:43,700 --> 00:03:48,500
Pass me that Tiger Thicc