1
00:00:00,00 --> 00:00:04,300
We're trying our best to get shots off, but 
they keep blocking them

2
00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:09,000
Charlie is doing his best to clean up at 
the back and Brad has been trying to hold 
the team together

3
00:00:09,100 --> 00:00:15,600
Our passes just aren't connecting and our 
groins are all about to give at approximately 
the same time

4
00:00:15,700 --> 00:00:20,500
We could try rainbow flicks. Diving headers. 
Bicycle kicks.

5
00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:25,400
Keith...

6
00:00:25,500 --> 00:00:26,300
Our skill...

7
00:00:28,900 --> 00:00:30,900
Our skill isn't up to your standards.

8
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:35,800
It's 9pm on a Thursday. We're tired

9
00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:57,600
Zach. Dewi. Jamie. Charlie. You're not good 
enough.

10
00:01:09,700 --> 00:01:16,800
I'm missing Jeopardy reruns for this? A bunch 
of "soccer players" who can't even kick a 
ball in a straight line?

11
00:01:16,900 --> 00:01:21,700
We won a treble this year and now you can't 
even run the length of a gymnasium before 
you're sucking wind?

12
00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:25,700
You couldn't trap a bag of sand if I passed 
it to you.

13
00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:30,600
I dive, dive, dive all game long to keep 
this team in contention. And for what?!

14
00:01:30,700 --> 00:01:35,500
You kick the ball like my grandmother understands 
online banking: very poorly!

15
00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:38,500
Keith, we're just here for fun...

16
00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:42,200
Fun? It's only fun if we win!

17
00:01:42,300 --> 00:01:44,000
Keith, please, you're hurting our feelings

18
00:01:44,100 --> 00:01:48,900
Feelings are for losers. If you play for 
the Crocs, you'd better be willing to die 
for the Crocs.

19
00:01:51,700 --> 00:01:58,300
A group of blindfolded children with their 
legs tied together could string together 
more passes than you.

20
00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:03,200
Zach, you're too fancy. Pass it or shoot 
it. You're shit.

21
00:02:03,300 --> 00:02:08,100
Tyson, how big does the net have to be for 
you to score a penalty?

22
00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:10,900
Jamie, your ICBC rebates can't save you here!

23
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:17,900
Charlie, you might as well ride your bike 
right on home, pal!

24
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:23,200
I'm sorry, guys. I stubbed my toe earlier.

25
00:02:23,300 --> 00:02:28,100
It really hurt, but it's no excuse for that 
outburst.

26
00:02:34,100 --> 00:02:42,200
If I don't win, my kids make fun of me when 
I get home. They make me sleep on the floor.

27
00:02:42,300 --> 00:02:46,100
It's cold! I get scared!

28
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:51,000
Do you know what that's like? Being scared?

29
00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:57,900
If I don't die of a heart attack before this 
season is over, I promise to never pass the 
ball to any of you again next outdoor season.

30
00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:02,800
It's alright, Brad. Please, don't cry. This 
is how he is sometimes.

31
00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:09,300
I only learned to tie my shoes when I was 
23.

32
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:15,700
The bunny ears were too difficult.

33
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:19,900
I just really want to win.

34
00:03:23,100 --> 00:03:26,700
When I scream at you, it's because I care 
about you.

35
00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:39,100
Every misplaced pass, every ball kicked into 
the rafters is like a slap in the face.

36
00:03:44,700 --> 00:03:46,700
Shitty fucking Crocs.