1
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LIVE!

2
00:00:05,500 --> 00:00:08,700
Listen up, let me tell you a story

3
00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:11,900
A story that you think you've heard before

4
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:16,000
We know you know our names and our fame and 
our faces

5
00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:19,700
Know all about the glories and the disgraces

6
00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:26,100
I'm done 'cause all this time I've been just 
one word in a stupid rhyme

7
00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:29,400
So I picked up a pen and a microphone

8
00:00:29,500 --> 00:00:33,100
History's about to get overthrown

9
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:36,000
Divorced, Beheaded, Died

10
00:00:36,700 --> 00:00:40,000
Divorced, Beheaded, Survived

11
00:00:40,300 --> 00:00:43,000
But just for you tonight

12
00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:47,300
We're divorced, beheaded, live!

13
00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:50,700
Welcome to the show, to the histo-remix

14
00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:54,200
Switching up the flow, as we add the prefix

15
00:00:54,300 --> 00:00:59,900
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives

16
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:04,800
Raising up the roof, 'til we hit the ceiling

17
00:01:04,900 --> 00:01:08,300
Get ready for the truth that we'll be revealing

18
00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:16,500
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives

19
00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:18,600
But now we're ex-wives

20
00:01:18,700 --> 00:01:21,000
New York, make some noise!

21
00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:36,400
All you ever hear and read about

22
00:01:36,500 --> 00:01:40,000
Is our ex and the way it ended

23
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:43,200
But a pair doesn't beat a royal flush

24
00:01:43,300 --> 00:01:47,300
You're gonna find out how He got unfriended

25
00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:50,700
Tonight we're gonna do ourselves justice

26
00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:53,900
'Cause we're taking you to court

27
00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:57,100
Every Tudor rose has its thorns

28
00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:00,700
And you're gonna hear 'em live in consort

29
00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:03,600
Divorced, Beheaded, Died

30
00:02:04,100 --> 00:02:07,100
Divorced, Beheaded, Survived

31
00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:10,100
But just for you tonight

32
00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:15,000
We're divorced, beheaded, live!

33
00:02:15,100 --> 00:02:18,200
Welcome to the show, to the histo-remix

34
00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:21,800
Switching up the flow, as we add the prefix

35
00:02:21,900 --> 00:02:27,500
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives

36
00:02:28,900 --> 00:02:31,700
Dancing through the night 'til the break 
of day

37
00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:33,800
Once we're done, we'll start again

38
00:02:33,900 --> 00:02:36,200
Like it's the Renaissance

39
00:02:36,300 --> 00:02:44,000
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives

40
00:02:44,100 --> 00:02:46,300
But now we're ex-wives

41
00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:52,200
Remember us, from PBS?

42
00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:56,500
[Divorced] My name's Catherine Of Aragon

43
00:02:56,600 --> 00:03:00,600
Was married 24 years, I'm a paragon

44
00:03:00,700 --> 00:03:04,100
Of royalty, my loyalty is to the Vatican

45
00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:06,200
So if you try to dump me

46
00:03:06,300 --> 00:03:07,900
You won't try that again

47
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:10,400
[BEHEADED] I'm that Boleyn Girl

48
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And I'm up next

49
00:03:11,700 --> 00:03:13,800
See, I broke England from the Church

50
00:03:13,900 --> 00:03:15,800
Yeah, I'm that sexy

51
00:03:15,900 --> 00:03:18,100
Why did I lose my head?

52
00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:19,900
Well, my sleeves may be green

53
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,700
But my lipstick's red!

54
00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:26,300
[DIED] Jane Seymour, the only one he truly 
loved

55
00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:27,200
[RUDE]

56
00:03:27,300 --> 00:03:30,700
When my son was newly born, I died

57
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:33,300
But I'm not what I seem or am I?

58
00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:36,100
Stick around, and you'll suddenly see more

59
00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:39,600
[DIVORCED] Ich bin Anna of Cleves [JA]

60
00:03:39,700 --> 00:03:43,100
When he saw my portrait he was like [JA!]

61
00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:46,600
But I didn't look as good as I did in my 
pic

62
00:03:46,700 --> 00:03:50,500
Funny how we all discuss that, but never 
Henry's little-

63
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Prick up your ears, I'm the Katherine who 
lost her head [BEHEADED]

64
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For my promiscuity outside of wed

65
00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:00,800
Lock up your husbands, lock up your sons

66
00:04:00,900 --> 00:04:04,600
K Howard is here, and the fun's begun

67
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[SURVIVED] Five down, I'm the final wife

68
00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:11,600
I saw him to the end of his life

69
00:04:11,700 --> 00:04:15,000
I'm the survivor, Catherine Parr

70
00:04:15,100 --> 00:04:18,400
I bet you wanna know how I got this far

71
00:04:18,500 --> 00:04:22,100
I said, I bet you wanna know how I got this 
far

72
00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:25,700
Do you wanna know how we got this far?

73
00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:29,500
Then welcome to the show, to the histo-remix

74
00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:33,100
Switching up the flow as we add the prefix

75
00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:38,500
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives

76
00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:39,800
Come on, come on, come on!

77
00:04:39,900 --> 00:04:43,200
Turn the beat up, get this party buzzing

78
00:04:43,300 --> 00:04:47,100
You want a queen bee, well there's half a 
dozen

79
00:04:47,200 --> 00:05:02,200
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives

80
00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:04,400
But now we're ex-wives

81
00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,800
One, two, three, four, five

82
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SIX!

83
00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:36,600
New York City, how you doing tonight?

84
00:05:38,900 --> 00:05:43,000
We said, how are you doing tonight?

85
00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:48,000
We are SIX!

86
00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:51,800
And welcome to our Divorced, Beheaded, Live 
tour!

87
00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:56,700
New York we’ve got a whole lot in store for 
you tonight

88
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That's right girl, we’ve got the riffs to 
ruffle your ruffs!

89
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Shimmys to shake up your Chemise

90
00:06:04,300 --> 00:06:06,500
And a whole lot of history

91
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:09,100
Or as we like to call it... her-story

92
00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:14,000
So obviously, you know who we are

93
00:06:14,100 --> 00:06:15,000
Please, no portraits

94
00:06:15,100 --> 00:06:19,100
But give it up for our ladies in waiting!

95
00:06:21,100 --> 00:06:23,300
We got Maggie on the guitar!

96
00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:26,700
Bessie on the bass

97
00:06:28,700 --> 00:06:30,600
And killing it on the keys, we’ve got Joan!

98
00:06:34,100 --> 00:06:38,900
And with beat so sick they’ll give you gout, 
It’s Maria on the drums!

99
00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:44,200
So you came here today to party with us old-school

100
00:06:45,300 --> 00:06:48,300
Really, really old-school.

101
00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:53,200
But we’re not here to have fun

102
00:06:53,300 --> 00:06:56,000
Uh-uh, we have a serious score to settle

103
00:06:56,100 --> 00:07:00,900
Cause you see New York, the problem is, there's 
SIX of us

104
00:07:01,300 --> 00:07:03,000
And we know you’ve all got your favourite

105
00:07:03,100 --> 00:07:06,400
Yes, everyone always wants to know who’s 
the most important wife

106
00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:08,900
And they’ve been arguing about it for centuries

107
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:09,700
We’ve heard it all...

108
00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:11,600
“Who lasted the longest was the strongest.”

109
00:07:11,700 --> 00:07:13,600
“The biggest sinner is obvs the winner.”

110
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:15,400
“Who had the son takes number one.”

111
00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:17,600
“Who was most chased shall be first placed.”

112
00:07:17,700 --> 00:07:19,600
“The most inglourious is victorious.”

113
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“The winning contestant was the most protest-ant.”

114
00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:25,900
...Protestant!

115
00:07:26,900 --> 00:07:29,800
But today we're gonna answer your questions 
once and for all!

116
00:07:29,900 --> 00:07:34,700
And tell ya whatcha want, whatcha really 
really want...

117
00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:36,200
to know

118
00:07:36,300 --> 00:07:39,300
That’s right, we’re here to help you figure 
out which one of us is—

119
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The queen of the castle.

120
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The rose amongst the thorns.

121
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The Thomas Cromwell amongst the royal ministers 
between 1532 and 1540.

122
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But how the purgatory are they going to choose 
their leading lady?

123
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Well hold up!

124
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If this is gonna be a fair competition

125
00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:03,000
They’re gonna have to judge us by the one 
thing we have in common.

126
00:08:03,100 --> 00:08:07,300
The queen to take the crown should be the 
one who had the biggest,

127
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The firmest,

128
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The fullest

129
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Load of B.S. to deal with from the man who 
put a ring on it.

130
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So, New York, we’re gonna hold a little contest 
for you.

131
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And the rules are simple:

132
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The queen who was dealt the worst hand,

133
00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:26,800
The queen with the most hardships to withstand,

134
00:08:26,900 --> 00:08:29,800
The queen to whom it didn’t really go as 
planned,

135
00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:32,600
shall be the one to lead the band!

136
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:34,500
So, what do you think New York,

137
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are you ready to choose your leading lady?

138
00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:42,700
Oh, come on

139
00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:46,300
We said, are you ready?!

140
00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:50,100
Welcome to the show

141
00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:52,200
to the coronation

142
00:08:52,300 --> 00:08:53,500
Who will take the crown,

143
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:55,800
Be the pop sensation?

144
00:08:55,900 --> 00:09:00,100
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives

145
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:03,100
Six wives, Six wives, Six wives

146
00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:05,800
But there’s only one you need to hear from 
today

147
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New York, I’m about to win this competition.

148
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:11,400
Maria-

149
00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:13,200
-give me a beat.

150
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:16,700
muy bien

151
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:19,500
So, since the day I arrived in England,

152
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:23,400
Let’s just say my faith had been tested on 
more than one occasion.

153
00:09:23,500 --> 00:09:24,600
First things first,

154
00:09:24,700 --> 00:09:31,600
I was shipped off from Spain on the night 
of my sweet sixteen to marry some prince 
called Arthur and I’m like “okay”.

155
00:09:31,700 --> 00:09:34,700
But then Arthur died, so naturally I’m imprisoned 
for seven years.

156
00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:36,900
Really helped with the grieving process, 
you know,

157
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:40,000
but still I'm like, “okay.”

158
00:09:40,100 --> 00:09:45,600
But thank God they rescued me just in time 
to marry Prince Henry..

159
00:09:45,700 --> 00:09:50,500
my dead husband’s brother. Okay, so I’m thinking 
“bit weird”,

160
00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:55,400
but if you’d seen him back in the summer 
of ‘09. Let me tell you he was

161
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Okay

162
00:09:56,800 --> 00:10:00,700
So seven years later, we’re still trying 
for an heir.

163
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He’s trying really hard and I’m like “okay”,

164
00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:11,000
and he starts coming come late. “I was just 
out with my ministers!” But there’s lipstick 
on his ruff.

165
00:10:11,100 --> 00:10:13,200
And I’m like “okay”.

166
00:10:13,300 --> 00:10:19,300
Suddenly, he wants to annul our marriage, 
move some side chick into my palace and move 
me into a convent!

167
00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:22,600
Now, (come here)

168
00:10:23,500 --> 00:10:26,900
I don’t think I’d look that good in a wimple,

169
00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:28,700
so I’m like

170
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,800
“No way.”

171
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:35,000
You must agree that, baby,

172
00:10:35,100 --> 00:10:37,300
In all the time I’ve been by your side,

173
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:38,800
I’ve never lost control

174
00:10:38,900 --> 00:10:41,500
No matter how many times I knew you lied.

175
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:45,100
Have my golden rule: got to keep my cool.

176
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:47,600
Yeah, baby

177
00:10:47,700 --> 00:10:49,400
[You know she’s gotta keep her cool.]

178
00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:53,100
And even though you’ve had your fun running 
around with some pretty, young thing

179
00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:57,300
And even though you’ve had one son with someone 
who don’t own a wedding ring.

180
00:10:57,400 --> 00:11:03,500
No matter what I heard, I didn’t say a word. 
No, baby

181
00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:05,900
[You know she never said a word.]

182
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:12,000
I’ve put up with your shh, like every single 
day

183
00:11:12,100 --> 00:11:13,300
Woah, woah

184
00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:21,100
But now it’s time to shh, and listen when 
I say...

185
00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:23,800
You must think that I’m crazy,

186
00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:27,300
You wanna replace me, baby there’s

187
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:29,700
N-n-n-n-n-n-no way.

188
00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:31,600
If you think for a moment,

189
00:11:31,700 --> 00:11:35,100
I’d grant you annulment, just hold up there’s

190
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:38,400
N-n-n-n-n-n-no way.

191
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:42,300
No way

192
00:11:42,700 --> 00:11:46,400
There’s n-n-n-n-n-n-no way.

193
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:50,500
No way

194
00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:53,700
There’s n-n-n-n-n-n-no way.

195
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,200
There's no way

196
00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:59,000
So you read a bible verse that I’m cursed 
‘cause I was your brother’s wife,

197
00:11:59,100 --> 00:12:03,300
You say it’s a pity ‘cause quoting leviticus 
I’ll end up kiddy-less all my life.

198
00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:05,200
Well, daddy, won’t you there

199
00:12:05,300 --> 00:12:07,600
When I gave birth to Mary?

200
00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:09,200
don’t remember?

201
00:12:09,300 --> 00:12:11,500
[Daughters are so easy to forget]

202
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:18,500
You’re just so full of Sh... Must think that 
I’m naive

203
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:19,500
Woah, woah.

204
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:27,000
I won’t back down, won’t Shh, and no, I’ll 
never leave

205
00:12:27,100 --> 00:12:33,100
You must think that I’m crazy, you wanna 
replace me, baby there’s-

206
00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:35,600
N-n-n-n-n-n-no way.

207
00:12:35,700 --> 00:12:41,000
If you thought it’d be funny to send me to 
a nunnery, honey, there’s-

208
00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:43,000
Noooooo

209
00:12:43,100 --> 00:12:43,700
WAY!

210
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,700
[No way.] No way right?

211
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,500
[No way] That's why

212
00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:53,900
There’s n-n-n-n-n-n-no way. No way [No way]

213
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,900
No no way [No way]

214
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,700
N-n-n-n-n-n-no way

215
00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:01,000
There's no way

216
00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:03,100
Take it down girls! Hey!

217
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:12,000
Give it up for Maria on the drums y'all!

218
00:13:17,500 --> 00:13:21,800
You’ve got me down on my knees, Please tell 
me what you think I’ve done wrong

219
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:26,500
Been humble, been loyal, I’ve tried to swallow 
my pride all along

220
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:32,100
If you could just explain a single thing 
I’ve done to ‘cause you pain,

221
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:35,100
I’ll go...

222
00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:42,500
No?

223
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,900
You’ve got nothing to say?

224
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:47,100
I’m not going away,

225
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:51,000
There’s no way.

226
00:13:51,100 --> 00:13:56,500
You must think that I’m crazy, you wanna 
replace me, baby there’s

227
00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:59,200
N-n-n-n-n-n-no way.

228
00:13:59,300 --> 00:14:04,900
You made me your wife, so I’ll be queen till 
the end of my life!

229
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:12,600
[N-n-n-n-n-n-no way.] There's no way baby 
[No way] There's no way baby, I said

230
00:14:12,700 --> 00:14:14,600
N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-no—

231
00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:20,000
No way

232
00:14:20,100 --> 00:14:24,900
There's n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-no way.

233
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:27,900
There's no way!

234
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:04,700
So clearly, I had the most to deal with from 
the king.

235
00:15:05,300 --> 00:15:11,700
And I hit that high C so like, donde está 
my crown? por favor?

236
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:15,300
Wait, hang on a sec. Who was that other one?

237
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:17,200
I think you’re thinking of me!

238
00:15:17,300 --> 00:15:20,400
No, there was definitely a really important 
one.

239
00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:21,000
Still me.

240
00:15:21,100 --> 00:15:23,000
I think she, like, overlapped with you.

241
00:15:23,100 --> 00:15:27,600
Oh, yeah yeah you know that really famous 
and controversial one who people actually 
care about.

242
00:15:27,700 --> 00:15:31,100
Yeah. You know...The one you’ve been waiting 
for.

243
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:33,600
The one you’ve been waiting for.

244
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:34,800
The mystery,

245
00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:36,400
The one who changed history.

246
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,600
[History] The one who changed history, mystery,

247
00:15:38,700 --> 00:15:40,600
The temptress.

248
00:15:40,700 --> 00:15:42,800
The one with the plan,

249
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,900
The plan to steal the man!

250
00:15:47,500 --> 00:15:48,300
Anne!

251
00:15:48,700 --> 00:15:50,600
The one who chased the king,

252
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:53,300
But paid the price with a swordsman’s swing.

253
00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:56,000
Will she be the one to win?

254
00:15:57,000 --> 00:16:04,500
Anne Boleyn

255
00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:06,800
Anne Boleyn!

256
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:14,600
What?

257
00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:16,100
Oh!

258
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:17,400
Sorry!

259
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:24,500
Grew up in the French court

260
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:25,900
Oui oui, bonjour.

261
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,300
Life was a chore so

262
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:28,500
[She set sail.]

263
00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:29,900
1522,

264
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,800
Came straight to the UK

265
00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:33,200
All the British dudes, lame.

266
00:16:33,300 --> 00:16:34,800
[Epic fail.]

267
00:16:35,700 --> 00:16:37,500
I wanna dance and sing.

268
00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:40,500
[Politics?] Not my thing.

269
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:46,500
But then I met the king. And soon my daddy 
said, “You should try and get ahead.”

270
00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:50,200
He wanted me,

271
00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:51,500
Obviously,

272
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:54,800
Kept messaging me, like, everyday.

273
00:16:54,900 --> 00:17:00,700
Couldn’t be better, then he sent me a letter, 
and who am I kidding? I was prêt à manger.

274
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:01,900
[Ooh.]

275
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:03,700
Sent a reply.

276
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:04,800
[Ooh!]

277
00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:06,400
Just saying 'Hi',

278
00:17:06,500 --> 00:17:07,700
[Ooh!]

279
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:09,100
You're a nice guy.

280
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:10,600
I'll think about it, maybe,

281
00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:12,300
XO, baby.

282
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:13,700
[Uh oh!] Here we go.

283
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:18,000
[You sent him kisses!] I didn't know I would 
move in with his missus!

284
00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:19,200
[What?] Get a life!

285
00:17:19,300 --> 00:17:23,000
[You're living with his wife?] Like, what 
was I meant to do?

286
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:26,400
Sorry, not sorry ‘bout what I said.

287
00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:28,900
I’m just trying to have some fun.

288
00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:30,700
Don’t worry, don’t worry,

289
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,100
Don’t lose your head.

290
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:35,300
I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.

291
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:37,100
LOL,

292
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:38,600
Say ‘oh well’,

293
00:17:38,700 --> 00:17:40,600
Or go to hell.

294
00:17:40,700 --> 00:17:44,300
I’m sorry, not sorry, ‘bout what I said,

295
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:46,200
Don’t lose your head.

296
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:50,800
Three in the bed, and the little one said

297
00:17:50,900 --> 00:17:52,300
"If you wanna be wed,

298
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:53,800
Make up your mind."

299
00:17:53,900 --> 00:17:55,600
Her or me, chum.

300
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:58,400
Don’t wanna be some girl in a threesome.

301
00:17:58,500 --> 00:18:01,300
Are you blind?! [Ooh]

302
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:04,000
Don't be bitter, [Ooh]

303
00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:06,900
'Cause I'm fitter [Ooh]

304
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,400
Why hasn’t it hit her?

305
00:18:08,500 --> 00:18:10,000
He doesn’t wanna bang you,

306
00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:11,600
Somebody hang you.

307
00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:12,900
[Uh oh!] Here we go.

308
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:17,400
[Your comment went viral.] I didn't really 
mean it, but rumours spiral.

309
00:18:17,500 --> 00:18:19,800
[Wow, Anne, way to make the country hate 
you.]

310
00:18:19,900 --> 00:18:22,000
Wait, what was I meant to do?

311
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:25,600
Sorry, not sorry ‘bout what I said.

312
00:18:25,900 --> 00:18:28,400
I’m just trying to have some fun.

313
00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:30,000
Don’t worry, don’t worry,

314
00:18:30,100 --> 00:18:31,600
Don’t lose your head

315
00:18:31,700 --> 00:18:33,900
I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.

316
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,500
LOL,

317
00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:37,900
Say ‘oh well’,

318
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,700
Or go to hell.

319
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:43,300
I'm sorry, not sorry, ‘bout what I said,

320
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,300
Don’t lose your head.

321
00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:52,000
Tried to elope, but the pope said nope. Our 
only hope was

322
00:18:52,100 --> 00:18:53,200
[Henry]

323
00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:57,700
He got a promotion, ‘caused a commotion, 
set in motion

324
00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:02,100
The C of E. [The rules] We're so outdated.

325
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:05,100
Us two, wanted to get x-rated.

326
00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:07,800
[Soon, excommunicated!]

327
00:19:07,900 --> 00:19:10,900
Everybody chill, it's totes God's will.

328
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:22,400
Hold up, let me tell you how it went down.

329
00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:26,600
Henry’s out every night on the town, just 
sleeping around, like,

330
00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:27,800
[What the hell?]

331
00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:32,000
If that's how it's gonna be, maybe I'll flirt 
with a guy or three

332
00:19:32,100 --> 00:19:33,800
Just to make him jel

333
00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:39,400
Henry finds out and he goes mental. He screams 
and shouts like, [so judgemental]

334
00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:40,700
“You damned witch!”

335
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:45,600
Bro! Just shut up, I wouldn't be such a b-[GASPS] 
if you could get it up

336
00:19:45,700 --> 00:19:46,800
[Uh oh!] Here we go.

337
00:19:46,900 --> 00:19:51,200
[Is that what you said?] And now, he's going 
'round like, "Off with her head!"

338
00:19:51,300 --> 00:19:53,400
[No..] Yeah, I'm pretty sure he means it

339
00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:55,600
[Seems it.] What was I meant to do?

340
00:19:55,700 --> 00:19:58,700
[What was she meant to do?] Like, what was 
I meant to do?

341
00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:01,600
[What was she meant to do?] No, but what 
was I meant to do?

342
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:03,100
[What was she meant to do?!]

343
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,000
No, oh my God, you guys, seriously,

344
00:20:05,100 --> 00:20:08,100
he actually wants to chop my head off!

345
00:20:11,700 --> 00:20:12,500
I mean..

346
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:14,800
I guess he just really liked my head..

347
00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:20,500
5, 6, 7, 8!

348
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:23,300
Sorry, not sorry ‘bout what I said.

349
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:25,800
I'm just trying to have some fun.

350
00:20:25,900 --> 00:20:29,000
Don't worry, don't worry, don't lose your 
head!

351
00:20:29,100 --> 00:20:32,200
I didn't mean to hurt anyone.

352
00:20:32,300 --> 00:20:33,800
LOL,

353
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,300
Say 'oh well',

354
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:36,100
Or go to--

355
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:37,700
--Hell!

356
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:40,400
Sorry, not sorry 'bout what I said.

357
00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:43,200
[Sorry, not sorry 'bout what she said.] I'm 
not sorry!

358
00:20:43,300 --> 00:20:48,100
Sorry, not sorry, 'bout what I said!

359
00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:50,100
Don't lose your head!

360
00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:13,000
Yeah! What a weekend.

361
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,200
I'm like dead

362
00:21:15,700 --> 00:21:18,400
Wait, did you actually die?

363
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:20,600
Yeah, it was so extra.

364
00:21:20,700 --> 00:21:26,600
Anyway, yeah! Now I'm obvs the winner, I 
think I'll do another solo.

365
00:21:26,700 --> 00:21:33,700
So my next song is one I wrote about the 
moment when I found out Catherine of Aragon 
had tragically died.

366
00:21:35,100 --> 00:21:38,500
It's called "Wearing Yellow to a Funeral". 
Hit the lights!

367
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:43,700
Catherine was a massive-

368
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:48,400
[UPROAR] Whoa, who decided you were the winner?

369
00:21:48,500 --> 00:21:49,300
She wants another turn?

370
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:51,000
Over my dead body!

371
00:21:52,900 --> 00:21:57,300
Yeah, anyways, I'm pretty sure it's my turn 
next.

372
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:04,000
You? Queen, please!

373
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:07,200
Are you for real?

374
00:22:07,300 --> 00:22:09,600
Yeah, weren't you the one he truly loved?

375
00:22:09,700 --> 00:22:12,800
Yeah, didn't you finally give him the son 
he so desperately wanted?

376
00:22:12,900 --> 00:22:15,800
Yeah, like I had a daughter and he literally 
chopped my head off.

377
00:22:15,900 --> 00:22:20,800
You're right, I was lucky, okay

378
00:22:20,900 --> 00:22:22,700
I was really lucky,

379
00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:24,900
I was in love,

380
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:27,800
I just had a beautiful baby

381
00:22:27,900 --> 00:22:32,900
Henry was happy cause thank God, it was an 
Edward, and not an Edwina

382
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:37,200
I was so excited

383
00:22:37,300 --> 00:22:41,100
For his first steps.. his first words..

384
00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:45,700
For not getting a good night sleep for three 
years..

385
00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:50,600
But, I never get to see any of that.

386
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:55,800
You know? People say Henry was stone hearted-

387
00:22:55,900 --> 00:22:58,600
-uncaring, and

388
00:22:58,700 --> 00:23:00,600
I'm not sure that he was

389
00:23:00,700 --> 00:23:08,100
Yeah, actually come to think of it, there 
was this one really cute time where I had 
a daughter and he chopped my head off

390
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:14,000
Okay look, I know, that his times with the 
Queens before me were hard

391
00:23:14,100 --> 00:23:19,000
But, they were also full of fire

392
00:23:19,100 --> 00:23:26,200
He raged and stormed at them, and because 
they are both absolute badass monarchs

393
00:23:26,300 --> 00:23:29,900
They raged and stormed right back

394
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:31,600
But I didn't do that

395
00:23:31,900 --> 00:23:34,000
Instead, I stood by him

396
00:23:34,700 --> 00:23:36,300
Like I was made of stone

397
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:41,200
I stood firm, no matter his flaws or his 
tempers

398
00:23:42,500 --> 00:23:46,600
No matter my doubts or fears, I stayed there 
by his side

399
00:23:48,300 --> 00:23:51,200
And that's not because I was scared

400
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:53,400
or naive, or weak

401
00:23:53,500 --> 00:23:54,900
It's because

402
00:23:57,700 --> 00:24:00,500
I loved him

403
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:16,300
So, Henry...

404
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:21,500
You’ve got a good heart, but I know it changes

405
00:24:22,300 --> 00:24:28,100
A restless tide, untameable.

406
00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:38,600
You came my way, and I knew a storm could 
come too.

407
00:24:39,300 --> 00:24:44,600
You’d lift me high or let me fall.

408
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:58,400
But I took your hand, and promise I’d withstand 
any blaze you blew my way.

409
00:24:58,900 --> 00:25:03,800
‘Cause something inside, it solidified.

410
00:25:03,900 --> 00:25:09,200
And I knew I’d always stay.

411
00:25:12,900 --> 00:25:14,700
You can build me up,

412
00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:17,000
You can tear me down,

413
00:25:17,100 --> 00:25:21,000
You can try but I’m unbreakable.

414
00:25:21,100 --> 00:25:25,400
You can do your best, but I’ll stand the 
test,

415
00:25:25,500 --> 00:25:29,100
You’ll find that I’m unshakable.

416
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:31,700
When the fire’s burnt,

417
00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:33,700
When the wind has blown,

418
00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:35,900
When the water’s dried,

419
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:40,800
You’ll still find stone.

420
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:47,500
My heart of stone.

421
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:54,500
You say we’re perfect. A perfect family.

422
00:25:54,900 --> 00:26:01,100
You hold us close for the world to see.

423
00:26:06,900 --> 00:26:11,500
And when I say you’re the only one I’ve ever 
loved,

424
00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:21,400
I mean those words truthfully.

425
00:26:22,900 --> 00:26:30,700
But I know, without my son your love could 
disappear.

426
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:35,600
And no, it isn’t fair, but I don’t care.

427
00:26:35,700 --> 00:26:40,600
‘Cause my love will still be here.

428
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:46,700
You can build me up,

429
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:48,900
You can tear me down,

430
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:52,700
You can try but I’m unbreakable.

431
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:57,400
You can do your best, but I’ll stand the 
test,

432
00:26:57,500 --> 00:27:01,300
You’ll find that I’m unshakable.

433
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:03,300
When the fire’s burnt,

434
00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:05,600
When the wind has blown,

435
00:27:05,700 --> 00:27:07,600
When the water’s dried,

436
00:27:07,700 --> 00:27:12,500
You’ll still find stone.

437
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:19,000
My heart of stone.

438
00:27:21,700 --> 00:27:24,900
Soon I’ll have to go.

439
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:29,500
I’ll never see him grow.

440
00:27:29,900 --> 00:27:33,900
But I hope my son will know,

441
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:37,400
He’ll never be alone.

442
00:27:37,500 --> 00:27:41,900
‘Cause like a river runs dry

443
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:46,800
And leaves it’s scars behind.

444
00:27:46,900 --> 00:27:50,100
I’ll be by your side,

445
00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:57,800
‘Cause my love

446
00:27:57,900 --> 00:28:02,700
is set in stone....

447
00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:12,100
Yeah! [You can build me up, you can tear 
me down]

448
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:18,400
[You can try but I’m unbreakable. You can 
do your best]

449
00:28:18,500 --> 00:28:24,400
[But I’ll stand the test, you’ll find that 
I’m unshakable.]

450
00:28:24,500 --> 00:28:30,900
The fires burnt, the wind has blown, the 
water’s dried,

451
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:39,400
You’ll still find stone, ooh yeah...

452
00:28:39,500 --> 00:28:45,100
My heart of stone...

453
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:53,500
Can’t break me, can’t break me, stone...

454
00:28:53,600 --> 00:29:06,800
Can’t break me, can’t break me, you'll still 
find stone...

455
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:15,400
My heart of stone.

456
00:29:40,900 --> 00:29:43,400
What hurts more than a broken heart?

457
00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:45,700
A severed head

458
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:52,200
Now, seeing as Henry was running out of women 
to marry in England,

459
00:29:53,100 --> 00:29:57,100
he had to look a little further afield.

460
00:29:57,200 --> 00:30:00,600
He had to adjust his location settings, if 
you will.

461
00:30:01,100 --> 00:30:05,500
To find his next queen, we’re heading-

462
00:30:06,300 --> 00:30:08,700
to Germany.

463
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:15,200
Where he enlisted the help

464
00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:18,900
of the legendary painter,

465
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:23,100
Hans...

466
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:31,300
Holbein.

467
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:34,000
Welcome to the house...

468
00:30:34,100 --> 00:30:36,200
To the Haus of Holbein, ja!

469
00:30:38,500 --> 00:30:40,000
Ooh ja!

470
00:30:40,900 --> 00:30:43,900
Das ist gut, ooh ja!

471
00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:46,500
Ja!

472
00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:49,400
The Haus of Holbein.

473
00:30:49,900 --> 00:30:53,200
Hans Holbein goes around the world

474
00:30:53,300 --> 00:30:56,200
Painting all of the beautiful girls.

475
00:30:56,300 --> 00:30:56,900
From Spain,

476
00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:58,000
To France,

477
00:30:58,100 --> 00:30:59,500
And Germany.

478
00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:02,700
The king chooses one, but which one will 
it be?

479
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:06,200
You bring the corsets. We’ll bring the cinches.

480
00:31:06,300 --> 00:31:09,400
No one wants a waist over nine inches.

481
00:31:09,500 --> 00:31:12,600
So what, The makeup contains lead poison?

482
00:31:12,700 --> 00:31:16,100
At least your complexion will bring all the 
boys in.

483
00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:22,500
Ignore the fear and you’ll be fine, we’ll 
turn this vier into a nine.

484
00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:26,600
So just say “ja” and don’t say “nein”

485
00:31:26,700 --> 00:31:31,500
Cause now you’re in the house, in the Haus 
of Holbein, ja!

486
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:34,800
Ooh ja!

487
00:31:35,500 --> 00:31:38,100
Das ist gut, ooh ja!

488
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:40,400
Ja!

489
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:43,500
The Haus of Holbein.

490
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:50,700
We must make sure the princesses look great, 
when their time comes for their Holbein portrait!

491
00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:53,500
We know what all the best inventions are

492
00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:57,200
To hold everything out. Ja, it’s wunderbar!

493
00:31:57,300 --> 00:32:03,700
For blonder hair, then you just add a magical 
ingredient from your bladder.

494
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:10,300
Try these heels, so high it’s naughty. But 
we cannot guarantee that you’ll still walk 
at forty.

495
00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:20,900
Ignore the fear and you’ll be fine, we’ll 
turn this vier into a nine. So just say “ja” 
and don’t say “nein”...

496
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:25,800
‘Cause now you’re in the house... In the 
Haus of Holbein!

497
00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:31,700
Ooh ja! Das ist gut, ooh ja!

498
00:32:33,900 --> 00:32:35,100
Ja!

499
00:32:36,300 --> 00:32:37,600
The Haus of Holbein.

500
00:32:38,100 --> 00:32:41,500
The time has come for you to select your 
bride, your highness!

501
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:45,600
May we present Christina of Denmark?

502
00:32:45,700 --> 00:32:53,600
Looking for mates, dates, and a British monarch 
whom to secure the line of succession, winky-face.

503
00:32:56,700 --> 00:33:03,200
Nein? Then, never mind, she has already made 
a match with the Duke of Milan anyhow.

504
00:33:03,300 --> 00:33:04,400
Okay, next!

505
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:11,700
Your highness, may we present Amalia of Cleves?

506
00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:19,000
Just a German girl trying to live the English 
dream. Hashtag no Catholics, hashtag big 
dowry.

507
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:24,300
Nein? Okay! Who’s next?

508
00:33:29,300 --> 00:33:31,600
Anna! Fantastic! Wunderbar!

509
00:33:31,700 --> 00:33:39,700
Your highness, your highness, your highness! 
We are honoured to present to you Anna of 
Cleves!

510
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:43,100
The most beautiful woman in all of the Holy 
Roman Empire!

511
00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:48,000
And let me assure you, Herr Holbein has certainly 
done her justice.

512
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:57,500
Ah, there are good! And I think we can say 
that some certainty, you will be happily 
married for many years to come

513
00:33:57,600 --> 00:34:03,000
Ah! I can see it now! Henry the 8th and his 
famous four wives

514
00:34:03,100 --> 00:34:06,800
Oh please, no need to thank us, the pleasure 
has been ours—

515
00:34:06,900 --> 00:34:10,600
In the Haus of Holbein!

516
00:34:14,100 --> 00:34:15,800
The Haus of Holbein.

517
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:41,600
So I guess you already know what happened 
next.

518
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:49,000
How I came to England, hopeful, summoned 
after the king saw my portrait.

519
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:56,400
And how I, with my meager looks the way they 
are,

520
00:34:56,900 --> 00:35:01,300
didn’t live up to his expectations.

521
00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:04,900
It’s the usual story, isn’t it?

522
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:12,400
The savvy educated young princess deemed 
repulsive by the wheezing, wrinkled, ulcer-riddled 
man, twenty-four years her senior!

523
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:17,800
Rejection, rejection from a king!

524
00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:27,700
I mean how can anyone overcome the fate as 
devastating as being forced to move into 
a resplendent palace in Richmond

525
00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:35,700
with more money that I could spend in a lifetime?! 
And not a single man around to tell me what 
to do with it.

526
00:35:36,500 --> 00:35:39,400
I mean seriously, it's just...

527
00:35:42,500 --> 00:35:44,600
tragic.

528
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:57,800
Sittin’ here all alone, on a throne

529
00:35:57,900 --> 00:36:00,900
In a palace that I happen to own. Bring me 
some pheasant,

530
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:03,300
Keep it on the bone!

531
00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:05,600
Fill my goblet up to the brim,

532
00:36:05,700 --> 00:36:09,300
Sippin’ on mead and I spill it on my dress 
with a gold lace trim.

533
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:12,300
Not very prim and proper, can’t make me stop

534
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:17,800
I wanna go hunting, any takers? I’m not fake, 
‘cause I’ve got acres and acres

535
00:36:17,900 --> 00:36:20,300
Paid for with my own riches,

536
00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:23,100
Where my hounds at? Release the bitches.

537
00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:24,200
[Woof.]

538
00:36:24,300 --> 00:36:27,400
Everyday, head back for a round of croquet, 
yeah.

539
00:36:27,500 --> 00:36:31,800
‘Cause I’m a player. And tomorrow, I’ll hit 
replay.

540
00:36:31,900 --> 00:36:32,500
You,

541
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:35,600
You said that I tricked ya.

542
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:37,200
‘Cause I,

543
00:36:37,300 --> 00:36:41,000
I didn’t look like my profile picture.

544
00:36:41,100 --> 00:36:41,900
Too,

545
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:45,100
Too bad I don’t agree.

546
00:36:45,200 --> 00:36:50,000
So I’m gonna hang it up for everyone to see,

547
00:36:50,100 --> 00:36:52,800
And you can’t stop me ‘cause

548
00:36:52,900 --> 00:36:57,400
I’m the queen of the castle, get down, you 
dirty rascal.

549
00:36:57,500 --> 00:37:04,200
Get down.

550
00:37:04,300 --> 00:37:06,700
Get down you dirty rascal

551
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:12,900
Get down

552
00:37:13,700 --> 00:37:17,100
'Cause I'm the queen of the castle,

553
00:37:19,900 --> 00:37:21,000
Hey

554
00:37:21,100 --> 00:37:23,700
When I get bored,

555
00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:25,000
I go to court

556
00:37:25,100 --> 00:37:27,200
Pull up outside in my carriage,

557
00:37:27,300 --> 00:37:30,900
Don’t got no marriage, so I have a little 
flirt with the footman

558
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:32,800
as he takes my fur.

559
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:49,700
As you were.

560
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:52,200
Makin’ my way to the dance floor,

561
00:37:52,300 --> 00:37:55,000
Some boys makin’ advances, I ignore them.

562
00:37:55,100 --> 00:37:58,100
As my jam comes on the lute. Lookin’ cute

563
00:37:58,200 --> 00:37:59,200
Das ist gud

564
00:37:59,500 --> 00:38:01,700
All eyes on me,

565
00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:03,900
No criticism.

566
00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:08,600
I look more rad than [Lutheranism.]

567
00:38:08,700 --> 00:38:13,500
Dance so hard that I’m causing a sensation.

568
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:17,600
Okay, ladies, let’s get in reformation.

569
00:38:17,700 --> 00:38:21,900
You, you said that I tricked ya.

570
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:26,600
‘Cause I, I didn’t look like my profile picture

571
00:38:26,700 --> 00:38:30,900
Too, too bad I don’t agree.

572
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:38,600
So I’m gonna hang it up for everyone to see, 
and you can’t stop me ‘cause

573
00:38:38,700 --> 00:38:44,100
I’m the queen of the castle, get down, you 
dirty rascal. Get down

574
00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:52,400
Get down, you dirty rascal.

575
00:38:52,500 --> 00:38:58,000
Get down. Get down.

576
00:38:59,300 --> 00:39:02,600
‘Cause I’m the queen of the castle.

577
00:39:02,700 --> 00:39:04,300
Hey bestfriend~

578
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:06,500
here's the thing

579
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:13,200
Now, I ain’t sayin’ I’m a gold digger, but 
check my prenup, and go figure. I got [Gold 
chains],

580
00:39:13,300 --> 00:39:15,600
Symbolic of my faith to the higher power.

581
00:39:15,700 --> 00:39:20,500
In the [Fast lane], my horses can trot up 
to twelve miles an hour

582
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:29,900
Let me explain, I’m a Wienerschnitzel, not 
an English flower. No one tells me I need 
a rich man, doin’ my thing in my palace Richmond.

583
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:34,300
You, you said that I tricked ya, [tricked 
ya]

584
00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:39,300
‘Cause I, I didn’t look like my profile picture 
[What are you doing?]

585
00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:42,700
Too, too bad I don’t agree.

586
00:39:42,900 --> 00:39:47,600
So I’m gonna hang it up [hang it up, hang 
it up] for everyone to see,[Henry!]

587
00:39:48,300 --> 00:39:52,900
And you can’t stop, You can’t stop me ‘cause—

588
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:58,300
‘Cause I’m the queen of the castle, Get down 
you dirty rascal, get down!

589
00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:03,200
You rascal get up, get up, get up, up, up, 
this is broadway

590
00:40:05,700 --> 00:40:07,800
Okay that's enough! Get down!

591
00:40:07,900 --> 00:40:12,700
Do that next time with me [Get down]

592
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:17,200
Cause I'm the queen of the castle.

593
00:40:38,900 --> 00:40:40,900
So yeah, yeah,

594
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:43,900
it was really heartbreaking.

595
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:46,400
That doesn’t sound difficult at all.

596
00:40:50,500 --> 00:40:51,800
Oh yeah... I guess you’re right.

597
00:40:51,900 --> 00:40:53,600
I probably won’t win then.

598
00:40:53,700 --> 00:40:54,600
Oh well,

599
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:59,500
back to the palace.

600
00:41:02,300 --> 00:41:05,300
So now there’s one horse out of the race.

601
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:06,000
Rude.

602
00:41:06,100 --> 00:41:09,300
Let’s take a moment to check back in with 
the competition.

603
00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:11,300
So, who's still in the running?

604
00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:14,500
Will it be: the devoted wife, the divorcee

605
00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:17,500
Or the one who actually had problems to deal 
with

606
00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:22,600
Whoa, whoa, whoa, problems? My son had to 
deal with the loss of his mother

607
00:41:22,700 --> 00:41:27,400
Wow, yeah kinda like how my body had to deal 
with the loss of its head!

608
00:41:27,500 --> 00:41:31,600
oh please, please! come on now, can't you 
see what's happening?

609
00:41:31,700 --> 00:41:36,400
Compare with your losses isn't going to change 
the fact that I've already won, I mean

610
00:41:36,500 --> 00:41:42,400
I was literally shipped over from a foreign 
country, not knowing a word of English, to 
marry some random dude!

611
00:41:42,700 --> 00:41:46,100
Oh my God! Same!

612
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:57,000
When Henry decided he had enough of me, he 
didn't even have the decency to say goodbye

613
00:41:57,100 --> 00:41:58,000
Same!

614
00:41:58,100 --> 00:41:59,000
Yeah! Same!

615
00:41:59,100 --> 00:42:00,200
Nice neck by the way!

616
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:05,100
Okay, alright, fine! how about this?

617
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:09,800
When my one and only child had a raging fever--

618
00:42:09,900 --> 00:42:12,900
He wouldn't even let me, her mother see-

619
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:15,000
Oh! Boo-hoo!

620
00:42:15,100 --> 00:42:18,700
Baby Mary had the chickenpox and you weren’t 
there to hold her hand!

621
00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:21,800
You know, it's funny, because when I wanted 
to hold my newborn son,

622
00:42:21,900 --> 00:42:24,000
I DIED!

623
00:42:31,300 --> 00:42:33,400
Guys! I have the plague!

624
00:42:33,500 --> 00:42:34,300
What?

625
00:42:35,300 --> 00:42:36,200
lol, I'm just kidding,

626
00:42:36,300 --> 00:42:38,700
my life is amazing!

627
00:42:39,700 --> 00:42:40,400
Okay, you know what

628
00:42:40,900 --> 00:42:43,600
I think it’s time we heard for our next queen,

629
00:42:43,700 --> 00:42:46,100
Kate Howard.

630
00:42:49,100 --> 00:42:51,500
Wait, who's that again?

631
00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:55,400
Um, I think, she was the least relevant Catherine.

632
00:42:55,500 --> 00:42:57,700
Oh yeah, yeah,

633
00:42:57,800 --> 00:43:00,300
Now I still don't care.

634
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:01,500
Oh, ha ha, it's funny.

635
00:43:01,600 --> 00:43:06,400
Yeah, speaking of funny, good luck trying 
to compete with us, honey.

636
00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:08,600
You're right,

637
00:43:08,700 --> 00:43:09,800
you’re right

638
00:43:09,900 --> 00:43:13,500
I’m gonna need all the luck I can get, your 
lives sounded terrible

639
00:43:13,900 --> 00:43:14,700
and your songs...

640
00:43:16,300 --> 00:43:17,800
really helped to convey that.

641
00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:20,700
I mean, Catherine,

642
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:23,800
almost moving into a nunnery

643
00:43:24,400 --> 00:43:26,300
and then not?

644
00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:31,300
Not almost could’ve been really hard for 
you.

645
00:43:31,700 --> 00:43:34,000
And Anne, getting your head chopped off?

646
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:36,800
Surely, that means you’ll win the competition—

647
00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:38,600
oh, wait,

648
00:43:38,700 --> 00:43:40,500
Divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded...

649
00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:41,500
oh..

650
00:43:42,800 --> 00:43:43,700
nevermind.

651
00:43:45,300 --> 00:43:46,500
And Jane,

652
00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:51,300
dying of natural causes?

653
00:43:52,500 --> 00:43:55,500
When will justice be served?!

654
00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:03,300
And surviving..

655
00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:10,100
But seriously, Anna, all jokes aside,

656
00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:14,700
Getting rejected for your looks legit sounds 
really rough.

657
00:44:15,100 --> 00:44:17,600
I wouldn’t know anything about that.

658
00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:21,100
I mean look at me, I’m really hot.

659
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:24,900
So yeah. I can’t even begin to think of how 
I compete with you all.

660
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:26,000
Oh wait, like this...

661
00:44:27,300 --> 00:44:30,600
[All you wanna do, all you wanna do, baby.]

662
00:44:30,700 --> 00:44:34,000
I think we can all agree, I’m the ten amongst 
these threes.

663
00:44:34,100 --> 00:44:37,200
[All you wanna do, all you wanna do, baby.]

664
00:44:37,300 --> 00:44:40,700
And ever since I was a child, I’d make the 
boys go wild.

665
00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:43,800
[All you wanna do, all you wanna do, baby.]

666
00:44:43,900 --> 00:44:46,900
Take my first music teacher, Henry Mannox.

667
00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:50,300
I was young, it’s true, but even then I knew..

668
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:52,800
The only thing you wanna do is...

669
00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:57,100
Broad, dark, sexy Mannox

670
00:44:57,200 --> 00:45:00,700
Taught me all about dynamics.

671
00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:03,700
He was twenty-three,

672
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:07,200
And I was thirteen going on thirty.

673
00:45:07,300 --> 00:45:10,200
We spent hours strumming the lute.

674
00:45:10,500 --> 00:45:13,700
Striking the chords and blowing the flute.

675
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:16,800
He plucked my strings all the way to G,

676
00:45:16,900 --> 00:45:20,500
Went from major to minor, C to D.

677
00:45:20,600 --> 00:45:23,700
Tell me what you need,

678
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:27,200
What you want, you don’t need to plead.

679
00:45:27,300 --> 00:45:30,300
'Cause I feel the chemistry.

680
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:33,600
Like I get you, and you get me.

681
00:45:33,700 --> 00:45:36,700
And maybe this is it,

682
00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:40,500
He just cares so much, it feels legit.

683
00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:43,500
We have a connection.

684
00:45:44,100 --> 00:45:50,000
I think this guy is different.

685
00:45:50,500 --> 00:45:54,100
‘Cause all you wanna do, all you wanna do, 
baby

686
00:45:54,200 --> 00:45:57,400
Is touch me, love me, can’t get enoughsie.

687
00:45:57,600 --> 00:46:00,700
All you wanna do, all you wanna do, baby

688
00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:04,400
Is please me, squeeze me, birds and the bees 
me.

689
00:46:04,500 --> 00:46:10,800
Run your fingers through my hair, tell me 
I’m the fairest of the fair.

690
00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:13,900
[Playtime’s over.]

691
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:16,700
The only thing you wanna do is...

692
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:20,500
There was another guy. Francis.

693
00:46:20,600 --> 00:46:23,000
And at the time, I was living at my step-grandma’s 
house;

694
00:46:23,100 --> 00:46:27,500
He was working for her. Working so so hard.

695
00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:32,100
So he asked me to be his little piece of 
ass...istant.

696
00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:35,700
Serious, stern and slow,

697
00:46:35,800 --> 00:46:38,800
Gets what he wants and he won’t take no.

698
00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:45,800
Passion in all that he touches. The sexy 
secretary to the dowager duchess.

699
00:46:45,900 --> 00:46:49,000
Helped him in his office, had a duty to fulfill.

700
00:46:49,100 --> 00:46:52,200
He even let me use his favourite quill.

701
00:46:52,300 --> 00:46:55,500
Spilt ink all over the parchment, my wrist 
was so tired.

702
00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:59,100
Still, I came back the next day as he required.

703
00:46:59,200 --> 00:47:05,700
You see, I’m all you need. All you want, 
you don’t need to plead.

704
00:47:05,800 --> 00:47:12,100
‘Cause I feel the chemistry. Like I get you 
and you get me.

705
00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:19,100
And I know this it, he just cares so much, 
this one’s legit.

706
00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:22,000
We have a real connection.

707
00:47:22,700 --> 00:47:29,000
I’m sure this time is different.

708
00:47:29,100 --> 00:47:32,800
‘Cause all you wanna do, all you wanna do, 
baby

709
00:47:32,900 --> 00:47:36,100
Is touch me, love me, can’t get enoughsie.

710
00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:39,200
All you wanna do, all you wanna do, baby.

711
00:47:39,300 --> 00:47:42,900
Is please me, squeeze me, birds and the bees 
me.

712
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:49,300
You can’t wait a second more to get my corset 
on the floor.

713
00:47:49,900 --> 00:47:52,400
[Playtime’s over.]

714
00:47:52,500 --> 00:47:55,600
The only thing you wanna do is..

715
00:47:56,900 --> 00:47:58,900
Yeah, that didn’t work out.

716
00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:03,800
It turns out, some guys just employ girls 
into their private chambers.

717
00:48:03,900 --> 00:48:06,600
'Twas different time back then.

718
00:48:06,700 --> 00:48:11,500
So I decided to have a break from boys, just 
focus on my career

719
00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:17,200
and my dad got me this amazing workplace 
in court, and you’ll never guess who I met!

720
00:48:17,600 --> 00:48:20,900
Tall, large, Henry the VIII;

721
00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:23,800
Supreme head of the church of England.

722
00:48:24,700 --> 00:48:31,000
Globally revered. Although you wouldn’t know 
it from the look of that beard.

723
00:48:31,100 --> 00:48:33,600
Made me a lady in waiting,

724
00:48:33,700 --> 00:48:37,600
Hurled me and my family up in the world.

725
00:48:37,700 --> 00:48:40,700
Gave me duties in court and he swears it 
true

726
00:48:40,800 --> 00:48:44,100
That without me he doesn’t know what he’d 
do.

727
00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:50,800
You see, I’m all you need. All you want, 
we both agree

728
00:48:50,900 --> 00:48:57,400
This is the place for me. I’m finally where 
I’m meant to be.

729
00:48:57,500 --> 00:49:00,800
Then he starts saying all this stuff.

730
00:49:01,200 --> 00:49:04,400
He cares so much he calls me “love”.

731
00:49:04,500 --> 00:49:07,500
He says we have a connection.

732
00:49:07,900 --> 00:49:14,300
I guess it’s not so different.

733
00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:18,100
‘Cause all you wanna do, all you wanna do, 
baby

734
00:49:18,200 --> 00:49:21,500
Is touch me, love me, can’t get enoughsie.

735
00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:24,600
All you wanna do, all you wanna do, baby

736
00:49:24,700 --> 00:49:28,200
Is seize me, squeeze me, birds and the bees 
me.

737
00:49:28,300 --> 00:49:31,200
There’s no time for when or how

738
00:49:31,300 --> 00:49:34,800
‘Cause you just gotta have me now.

739
00:49:35,300 --> 00:49:38,000
[Playtime’s over.]

740
00:49:38,100 --> 00:49:40,300
The only thing you wanna do is..

741
00:49:43,700 --> 00:49:45,200
So we got married...

742
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:48,900
Woo.

743
00:49:49,500 --> 00:49:53,100
With Henry, it isn’t easy.

744
00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:56,200
His temper’s short and his friends are sleazy.

745
00:49:56,300 --> 00:50:01,100
Except for this one courtier. He’s a really 
nice guy,

746
00:50:01,200 --> 00:50:02,800
Just so sincere.

747
00:50:02,900 --> 00:50:06,300
The royal life isn’t what I planned

748
00:50:06,400 --> 00:50:09,400
But Thomas is there to lend a helping hand.

749
00:50:09,500 --> 00:50:16,200
So sweet, makes sure that I’m okay. And we 
hang out loads when the king’s away.

750
00:50:16,700 --> 00:50:23,000
This guy, finally is what I want, the friend 
I need.

751
00:50:23,100 --> 00:50:29,500
Just friends, no chemistry. I get him and 
he gets me.

752
00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:32,500
And there’s nothing more to it.

753
00:50:32,600 --> 00:50:36,400
He just cares so much, he’s devoted.

754
00:50:36,500 --> 00:50:41,300
He says we have a... connection.

755
00:50:47,700 --> 00:50:51,000
I thought this time was different,

756
00:50:51,100 --> 00:50:54,300
Why did I think he’d be different?

757
00:50:54,400 --> 00:51:03,700
But it’s never, ever different.

758
00:51:04,400 --> 00:51:07,900
‘Cause all you wanna do, all you wanna do, 
baby

759
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:11,500
Is touch me, when will enough be enoughsie?!

760
00:51:11,600 --> 00:51:14,500
All you wanna do, all you wanna do, baby

761
00:51:14,600 --> 00:51:18,400
Is squeeze me, don’t care if you don’t please 
me.

762
00:51:18,500 --> 00:51:25,100
Bite my lip and pull my hair, as you tell 
me I’m the fairest of the fair.

763
00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:31,200
[Playtime’s over.]

764
00:51:31,300 --> 00:51:38,100
[Playtime’s over.] Playtime’s Over!

765
00:51:38,200 --> 00:51:43,000
The only thing, the only thing, The only 
thing you wanna do is...

766
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:10,300
And then I was beheaded!

767
00:52:11,100 --> 00:52:14,400
Wow, I know, I know, so--

768
00:52:14,500 --> 00:52:19,900
I guess seeing as I've now won the competition, 
all I wanna do is take this opportunity

769
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:23,800
to thank all of the powerful men who got 
me to where I am today!

770
00:52:23,900 --> 00:52:25,200
Couldn't have done that without ya!

771
00:52:25,300 --> 00:52:29,900
Thank you New York! You've been a great audience! 
Thank you so much!

772
00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:36,900
Yeah, you, you had it bad,

773
00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:41,300
but that was not the most heart wrenching 
song we’ve heard this evening.

774
00:52:41,900 --> 00:52:45,000
Oh I'm sorry, were you not listening to my 
song?

775
00:52:45,300 --> 00:52:47,400
There were four choruses,

776
00:52:47,500 --> 00:52:49,700
that’s how much sh- I had to deal with.

777
00:52:49,800 --> 00:52:54,700
Yeah, sorry so true, when you've died and 
your son did have to grow without a mo-- 
oh wait

778
00:52:54,800 --> 00:52:56,200
that was me and no one care where you died

779
00:52:56,300 --> 00:52:58,500
Jane! Chill out!

780
00:52:58,600 --> 00:53:02,100
It's not her fault no one remembers her bland 
and uneventful life!

781
00:53:02,600 --> 00:53:05,800
Kate, honestly, I don't want it to be weird 
between us

782
00:53:05,900 --> 00:53:10,300
Just because my beheading was the result 
of years of actual trauma and humiliation

783
00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:14,000
Oh, calm down Anne! You seriously want to 
talk about humiliation?

784
00:53:14,100 --> 00:53:16,900
Okay, well when I was Queen, Henry had not 
one,

785
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:18,200
not two,

786
00:53:18,300 --> 00:53:22,200
but three historically confirmed mistresses!

787
00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:25,200
my gooood, mistre-

788
00:53:25,300 --> 00:53:26,200
get over it.

789
00:53:26,800 --> 00:53:28,100
When I was Queen,

790
00:53:28,200 --> 00:53:29,500
I had not one-

791
00:53:29,900 --> 00:53:31,400
not two!

792
00:53:31,500 --> 00:53:33,300
but three-

793
00:53:33,700 --> 00:53:35,300
MISCARRIAGES!

794
00:53:35,400 --> 00:53:38,700
Oh, you know what Anne, you loser! I had--

795
00:53:39,600 --> 00:53:40,900
FIVE MISCARRIAGES

796
00:53:41,100 --> 00:53:46,200
Why not we just move along, shall we, c'mon 
Queens, Catherine babe it's your turn

797
00:53:46,300 --> 00:53:46,900
Hit it!

798
00:54:00,900 --> 00:54:02,600
You know what? I'm good

799
00:54:07,500 --> 00:54:08,100
Yeah, I

800
00:54:08,500 --> 00:54:11,000
I just, I can't

801
00:54:11,100 --> 00:54:13,700
Keep doing this

802
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:27,700
what?

803
00:54:28,800 --> 00:54:30,900
I'm sorry.

804
00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:32,900
Sorry, it's it's just

805
00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:35,800
hello, woah wait hey, um,

806
00:54:35,900 --> 00:54:39,200
could we turn off all of the-

807
00:54:39,300 --> 00:54:40,800
thanks

808
00:54:42,100 --> 00:54:44,400
Look, I don't know, it's just

809
00:54:44,500 --> 00:54:47,600
we're here in front of all these people being 
like

810
00:54:47,700 --> 00:54:50,500
Ooh, let's see what gets the biggest cheer, 
trauma or abuse

811
00:54:50,600 --> 00:54:52,500
Whoa, like--

812
00:54:52,600 --> 00:54:54,800
Should we really be doing this?

813
00:54:55,800 --> 00:54:59,700
I mean we've literally been doing that for 
the last hour.

814
00:54:59,800 --> 00:55:02,100
I know, but-

815
00:55:02,500 --> 00:55:04,600
miscarriages?

816
00:55:04,700 --> 00:55:06,700
really? isn't that a bit-

817
00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:08,600
far?

818
00:55:08,700 --> 00:55:10,800
Ooh, someone has a conscience all of a sudden.

819
00:55:10,900 --> 00:55:15,200
Ooh, “I’m Catherine Parr, I draw lines in 
arbitrary places.” Blah-blah-blah!

820
00:55:15,300 --> 00:55:18,200
You know what Queens, she just knows she’s 
not gonna win.

821
00:55:18,300 --> 00:55:20,600
Ohhh, so she's trying to make us look stupid

822
00:55:20,900 --> 00:55:23,100
instead of playing by the rules like everyone 
else

823
00:55:25,300 --> 00:55:29,900
See this whole thing is literally just--, 
I don't--

824
00:55:34,600 --> 00:55:37,500
okay

825
00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:40,800
You know what Queens if it's..

826
00:55:41,100 --> 00:55:44,300
a sob story you want..

827
00:55:44,400 --> 00:55:45,900
I will give you one.

828
00:55:46,300 --> 00:55:47,800
Are you sure Catherine?

829
00:55:48,100 --> 00:55:49,900
We don't mind if you want to sit this one 
out, I mean

830
00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:53,300
You must be exhausted from all those backing 
vocals.

831
00:55:54,200 --> 00:55:55,000
No..

832
00:55:55,900 --> 00:55:58,800
You're right, I should sing a song. It's 
only fair

833
00:55:59,200 --> 00:56:03,300
Go on, Queens, take a seat.

834
00:56:03,600 --> 00:56:04,600
go on..

835
00:56:09,800 --> 00:56:11,300
Hey everyone,

836
00:56:13,200 --> 00:56:15,600
is it alright if we try something a bit..

837
00:56:15,900 --> 00:56:16,700
different?

838
00:56:19,100 --> 00:56:19,700
hey,

839
00:56:20,100 --> 00:56:24,100
hi! can I get back my beautiful light back?

840
00:56:24,200 --> 00:56:25,200
thanks

841
00:56:26,700 --> 00:56:29,100
uh, Joan, could you give me a cute little..

842
00:56:29,200 --> 00:56:30,900
B flat major..

843
00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:33,200
seven?

844
00:56:34,500 --> 00:56:37,000
perfect

845
00:56:37,700 --> 00:56:41,400
so, um,

846
00:56:41,500 --> 00:56:44,600
Just for a bit of context

847
00:56:44,700 --> 00:56:47,200
I've actually had my fair share of marriages,

848
00:56:48,300 --> 00:56:50,800
something Henry and I have in common, I guess.

849
00:56:51,300 --> 00:56:55,700
Though unlike him, I did managed to get through 
them without decapitating anyone.

850
00:56:55,800 --> 00:56:58,600
I know, gold star for Cathy Parr.

851
00:57:00,600 --> 00:57:04,100
But the thing is, they had this really annoying 
habit of passing away

852
00:57:04,200 --> 00:57:08,100
and so, as well as dealing with, you know, 
incapacitating grief.

853
00:57:08,200 --> 00:57:13,300
I also had to keep finding new husbands to 
avoid being ostracised.

854
00:57:13,400 --> 00:57:16,900
Yeah, Tudor womanhood,

855
00:57:17,200 --> 00:57:19,100
would recommend.

856
00:57:22,300 --> 00:57:26,200
And then one day,

857
00:57:26,300 --> 00:57:28,100
Finally,

858
00:57:28,600 --> 00:57:31,300
I meet this guy,

859
00:57:31,500 --> 00:57:32,800
Thomas,

860
00:57:34,400 --> 00:57:36,300
He seemed like he might stickaround for a 
while.

861
00:57:36,900 --> 00:57:41,500
And you guessed it, he turned out to be the 
love of my life. I know right?

862
00:57:43,100 --> 00:57:46,400
We had this plan to get married, actually.

863
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:50,300
But that’s when Henry turned up,

864
00:57:50,900 --> 00:57:53,900
single and ready to make an unsuspecting 
woman his wife.

865
00:57:55,600 --> 00:57:57,100
Just my luck.

866
00:57:58,400 --> 00:58:00,900
So that was that.

867
00:58:01,000 --> 00:58:04,200
I had to write a letter to Thomas,

868
00:58:04,800 --> 00:58:09,000
ending things.

869
00:58:09,100 --> 00:58:11,400
Dear Tom...

870
00:58:12,200 --> 00:58:16,300
You know I love you, boy.

871
00:58:16,400 --> 00:58:18,900
In every single way.

872
00:58:19,500 --> 00:58:22,500
Though I love you, boy.

873
00:58:23,600 --> 00:58:26,400
I’ll miss you everyday.

874
00:58:26,800 --> 00:58:29,500
Oh I love you, boy.

875
00:58:30,600 --> 00:58:34,000
I wish that I could stay with you

876
00:58:34,100 --> 00:58:39,000
And keep the life I made with you.

877
00:58:40,200 --> 00:58:46,300
And even though this,

878
00:58:46,400 --> 00:58:51,200
feels so right,

879
00:58:52,600 --> 00:58:58,700
I’m holding back the

880
00:58:58,800 --> 00:59:03,600
tears tonight.

881
00:59:04,600 --> 00:59:08,900
It’s true I’ll never be over you.

882
00:59:09,600 --> 00:59:15,500
‘Cause I have built a future in my mind with 
you.

883
00:59:15,900 --> 00:59:21,800
And now the hope is gone there’s nothing 
left for me to do.

884
00:59:21,900 --> 00:59:25,200
You know it isn’t true,

885
00:59:25,300 --> 00:59:28,400
But I must say to you

886
00:59:28,500 --> 00:59:33,300
That I don’t need your love, no, no.

887
00:59:34,300 --> 00:59:39,000
I don’t need your love, no, no.

888
00:59:39,500 --> 00:59:44,800
It’ll never be better than it was, no, no.

889
00:59:45,500 --> 00:59:50,700
But I don’t need your love, no, no.

890
00:59:51,600 --> 00:59:54,100
I’ve got no choice.

891
00:59:54,600 --> 00:59:56,400
With the king, I stay alive.

892
00:59:56,500 --> 00:59:58,600
Never had a choice.

893
00:59:58,700 --> 01:00:01,600
Been a wife twice before, just to survive.

894
01:00:01,700 --> 01:00:03,600
I don’t have a choice.

895
01:00:03,700 --> 01:00:07,000
If Henry says it’s you, then it’s you.

896
01:00:07,100 --> 01:00:09,400
No matter how I feel,

897
01:00:09,500 --> 01:00:12,200
It’s what I have to do.

898
01:00:12,300 --> 01:00:15,700
But if, somehow,

899
01:00:15,800 --> 01:00:21,000
I had a choice.

900
01:00:22,200 --> 01:00:25,700
No holding back,

901
01:00:25,800 --> 01:00:30,100
I’d raise my voice.

902
01:00:30,200 --> 01:00:35,300
I’d say, “Henry, yeah, it’s true, I’ll never 
belong to you

903
01:00:35,600 --> 01:00:40,500
‘Cause I am not your toy to enjoy ‘til there’s 
something new.

904
01:00:40,600 --> 01:00:45,700
As if I’d give up my boy, my work, my dreams 
to care for you. Ha!

905
01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:47,700
Darling, get a clue.

906
01:00:48,000 --> 01:00:50,600
There’s nothing you can do.

907
01:00:50,700 --> 01:00:55,100
I don’t need your love, no, no.

908
01:00:55,200 --> 01:01:00,000
No, I don’t need your love, no, no.

909
01:01:00,100 --> 01:01:04,900
There’s nothing left to discuss, no, no.

910
01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:10,500
'Cause I don’t need your love, no, no.”

911
01:01:14,800 --> 01:01:17,000
But the thing is, I can’t say that.

912
01:01:18,800 --> 01:01:21,900
Not to the king.

913
01:01:22,900 --> 01:01:25,600
So this is goodbye.

914
01:01:26,300 --> 01:01:27,600
All my love,

915
01:01:27,700 --> 01:01:29,800
Catherine.

916
01:01:30,500 --> 01:01:33,400
So I sent that letter to my love, got married 
to the king,

917
01:01:33,500 --> 01:01:39,400
Became the one who survived. I’ve told you 
about my life, the final wife.

918
01:01:39,500 --> 01:01:43,900
But why should that story be the one I have 
to sing about,

919
01:01:44,000 --> 01:01:45,500
Just to win? I’m out

920
01:01:45,600 --> 01:01:49,600
That’s not my story. There’s so much more,

921
01:01:49,700 --> 01:01:55,400
Remember that I was a writer, I wrote books 
and psalms and meditations.

922
01:01:55,500 --> 01:02:02,000
Fought for female education, so all my women 
could independently study scripture.

923
01:02:02,100 --> 01:02:05,500
I even got a woman to paint my picture.

924
01:02:05,600 --> 01:02:08,200
Why can’t I tell that story?

925
01:02:08,300 --> 01:02:10,900
‘Cause in history

926
01:02:11,000 --> 01:02:14,900
I’m fixed as one of six.

927
01:02:15,000 --> 01:02:18,600
And without him,

928
01:02:19,000 --> 01:02:25,800
I disappear.

929
01:02:27,500 --> 01:02:34,800
We all-

930
01:02:34,900 --> 01:02:41,100
disappear.

931
01:02:44,100 --> 01:02:45,900
Wait, I don’t get it.

932
01:02:47,500 --> 01:02:48,800
Okay, look.

933
01:02:49,600 --> 01:02:51,900
Why does anyone know who we are?

934
01:02:52,400 --> 01:02:53,400
My sixth finger.

935
01:02:53,500 --> 01:02:55,800
Put it away, babe.

936
01:02:55,900 --> 01:02:59,900
No. Okay, let me put it in a different way. 
um..

937
01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:02,900
Who was Henry VII’s wife?

938
01:03:08,100 --> 01:03:08,900
I don’t know.

939
01:03:09,000 --> 01:03:10,800
Anyone?

940
01:03:10,900 --> 01:03:12,100
[I don't know]

941
01:03:12,200 --> 01:03:15,600
Okay.. Who's Henry VI’s wife?

942
01:03:17,900 --> 01:03:19,600
And Henry V’s wife?

943
01:03:19,900 --> 01:03:21,500
[We don’t know.]

944
01:03:21,600 --> 01:03:24,100
Catherine de Valois—

945
01:03:25,300 --> 01:03:26,500
Oh, we don’t know.

946
01:03:28,100 --> 01:03:29,100
The point is,

947
01:03:30,200 --> 01:03:35,700
the only reason these people have come here 
today is because once upon a time—

948
01:03:35,800 --> 01:03:37,500
The same guy fell in love with us.

949
01:03:37,600 --> 01:03:37,900
Right.

950
01:03:39,300 --> 01:03:41,400
Wait, isn't there a bigger problem here?

951
01:03:41,500 --> 01:03:43,000
The dissolution of the monasteries

952
01:03:43,100 --> 01:03:47,500
No, I'm talking about us, cause as soon as 
we get together as a group-

953
01:03:47,600 --> 01:03:51,600
-Everyone notices Jane can't dance, yeah!

954
01:03:51,700 --> 01:03:53,400
That's exactly what I'm talking about!

955
01:03:53,500 --> 01:03:56,300
We compare ourselves,

956
01:03:57,100 --> 01:04:01,600
And when we're the six wives of Henry VIII, 
we each become just that.

957
01:04:02,500 --> 01:04:04,100
One of his wives.

958
01:04:04,200 --> 01:04:05,800
One of..

959
01:04:06,300 --> 01:04:08,800
six..

960
01:04:08,900 --> 01:04:11,000
Oh my God, I get it.

961
01:04:11,100 --> 01:04:14,200
Since the only thing we have in common is 
our husband,

962
01:04:14,300 --> 01:04:23,600
grouping us is an inherently comparative 
act and as such unnecessarily elevates a 
historical approach ingrained in patriarchal 
structures...

963
01:04:26,900 --> 01:04:27,900
Yeah...

964
01:04:28,100 --> 01:04:31,900
I read.

965
01:04:32,000 --> 01:04:33,900
So basically, we’re stuck.

966
01:04:36,800 --> 01:04:38,600
What a waste of time!

967
01:04:39,500 --> 01:04:43,500
Well, I guess there's not much we can do 
about it now?

968
01:05:20,600 --> 01:05:21,800
You know what..

969
01:05:24,800 --> 01:05:27,900
I wish it like, before we spend the whole 
show competing,

970
01:05:28,000 --> 01:05:30,700
we realized that we turn out to be such a 
mess

971
01:05:30,800 --> 01:05:35,400
Oh, yeah, because if we had realize,then 
we could have done something else

972
01:05:35,500 --> 01:05:39,800
like maybe even a fake competition to show 
everyone how mess up comparing this is

973
01:05:40,900 --> 01:05:44,300
And then we could have found some cool way 
to like, I don't know

974
01:05:44,700 --> 01:05:48,000
Reclaim our stories and like all become the 
leading ladies

975
01:05:48,100 --> 01:05:50,400
Oh, we could have done that as a song!

976
01:05:50,500 --> 01:05:53,100
Now, we could've tied up everything together 
so neatly

977
01:05:54,000 --> 01:05:57,300
If only we'd have thought of it before

978
01:06:02,300 --> 01:06:03,200
This is a—

979
01:06:03,300 --> 01:06:05,100
[Remix!]

980
01:06:05,800 --> 01:06:07,300
So we had no choice.

981
01:06:08,800 --> 01:06:10,500
But now it’s us alone.

982
01:06:10,600 --> 01:06:11,700
So we’ve got no choice,

983
01:06:11,800 --> 01:06:12,900
No, we’ve got no choice.

984
01:06:13,000 --> 01:06:15,100
We’re taking back the microphone.

985
01:06:15,200 --> 01:06:17,700
I’m gonna raise my voice.

986
01:06:18,100 --> 01:06:20,200
They always said we’d need your love,

987
01:06:20,300 --> 01:06:25,000
But it’s time for us to rise above.

988
01:06:25,100 --> 01:06:33,700
It’s not what went down in history.

989
01:06:33,800 --> 01:06:42,400
But tonight, I’m singing this for me.

990
01:06:47,000 --> 01:06:51,200
Henry, yeah, I’m through. Too many times 
it’s been told.

991
01:06:51,500 --> 01:06:56,100
And I have had enough love stories to get 
old.

992
01:06:56,300 --> 01:07:00,500
And you might think it’s tough, but I’ve 
got to let your love run cold.

993
01:07:00,800 --> 01:07:05,600
We’re taking back control, you need to know

994
01:07:05,700 --> 01:07:10,200
That I don’t need your love, no, no.

995
01:07:10,300 --> 01:07:14,500
No, I don’t need your love, no, no.

996
01:07:14,600 --> 01:07:19,400
Can’t let it get the better of us, no, no.

997
01:07:19,500 --> 01:07:23,900
I don’t need your love, no, no

998
01:07:24,000 --> 01:07:28,800
I don’t need your love, no, no.

999
01:07:28,900 --> 01:07:33,400
[I don’t need your love, no, no.] I don’t 
need your love...!

1000
01:07:33,500 --> 01:07:38,300
[I don’t need your love, no, no.] I don’t 
need your love...!

1001
01:07:38,400 --> 01:07:42,800
[I don't need your] love

1002
01:07:42,900 --> 01:07:46,800
Yeahh!

1003
01:07:47,200 --> 01:07:51,200
We don't need your love!

1004
01:08:05,000 --> 01:08:09,000
New York! We have a voice.

1005
01:08:09,100 --> 01:08:09,800
We said,

1006
01:08:10,300 --> 01:08:14,100
We have a voice!

1007
01:08:14,500 --> 01:08:18,600
And you know what? We might just be remembered 
for being married to the same man,

1008
01:08:18,700 --> 01:08:21,500
But why does anyone give a sh... who he is?

1009
01:08:21,600 --> 01:08:22,700
His continental campaigning?

1010
01:08:22,800 --> 01:08:23,700
His religious reforms?

1011
01:08:23,800 --> 01:08:24,400
Well, actually—

1012
01:08:24,500 --> 01:08:25,700
Now is not the time, Catherine.

1013
01:08:25,800 --> 01:08:28,900
Or do you think it might be, I don't know,

1014
01:08:29,000 --> 01:08:30,400
'Cause of his-

1015
01:08:30,900 --> 01:08:32,400
SIX-

1016
01:08:32,500 --> 01:08:36,100
-WIVES!

1017
01:08:43,100 --> 01:08:45,400
So New York! Before we go

1018
01:08:45,900 --> 01:08:50,300
What do you think? Are you ready for a royal 
happy ever after?!

1019
01:08:54,600 --> 01:08:55,900
Well, we don't have one.

1020
01:08:57,000 --> 01:09:00,000
We wish we could tell you our lives had happy 
endings.

1021
01:09:00,100 --> 01:09:01,600
But in reality, they didn’t.

1022
01:09:01,900 --> 01:09:04,400
And there’s nothing we can do to change that.

1023
01:09:04,700 --> 01:09:05,400
Ever.

1024
01:09:08,900 --> 01:09:10,000
But wait!

1025
01:09:11,200 --> 01:09:14,900
This is our show, and we can literally have 
whatever ending we want.

1026
01:09:16,000 --> 01:09:18,900
So New York, seeing that there is five minutes 
left of the show...

1027
01:09:19,000 --> 01:09:21,400
We've decided to give you our own-

1028
01:09:21,500 --> 01:09:22,800
-slightly edited version-

1029
01:09:22,900 --> 01:09:26,300
-of what actually went down, all those years 
ago

1030
01:09:26,400 --> 01:09:27,700
'Cause afterall..

1031
01:09:28,700 --> 01:09:31,500
We’re one of a kind,

1032
01:09:32,100 --> 01:09:35,400
No category.

1033
01:09:36,200 --> 01:09:39,000
Too many years,

1034
01:09:39,500 --> 01:09:42,600
Lost in his story.

1035
01:09:42,700 --> 01:09:44,200
We’re free

1036
01:09:44,300 --> 01:09:48,800
To take our crowning glory.

1037
01:09:49,700 --> 01:09:57,400
For five more minutes,

1038
01:09:58,400 --> 01:09:59,500
We’re SiX!

1039
01:09:59,600 --> 01:10:01,900
Alright, Queens, shall we go on to what history 
we write?

1040
01:10:02,000 --> 01:10:04,100
Yeah, girl! You wanna go first?

1041
01:10:04,200 --> 01:10:06,400
They're hyped, let's go!

1042
01:10:12,500 --> 01:10:13,000
Here we go!

1043
01:10:13,700 --> 01:10:17,100
He got down on one knee, but I said, “No 
way.”

1044
01:10:17,200 --> 01:10:20,800
Packed my bags and moved into a n-n-nunnery.

1045
01:10:21,200 --> 01:10:24,500
Joined the gospel choir, our riffs were on 
fire.

1046
01:10:24,600 --> 01:10:27,900
At the top of the charts is where I’m gonna 
stay.

1047
01:10:28,000 --> 01:10:31,400
Henry sent me a poem about my green sleeves.

1048
01:10:31,600 --> 01:10:34,900
I changed a couple words, put it on a sick 
beat.

1049
01:10:35,000 --> 01:10:38,600
The song blew their minds. Next minute, I 
was signed.

1050
01:10:38,700 --> 01:10:41,800
And now I’m writing lyrics for Shakesy P.

1051
01:10:42,300 --> 01:10:45,600
Since my first son, our family’s grown.

1052
01:10:45,900 --> 01:10:49,000
We made a band and got quite well known.

1053
01:10:49,500 --> 01:10:53,900
You could perhaps call us the Tudor von Trapps. 
Okay, kidding,

1054
01:10:54,300 --> 01:10:56,900
We’re called the Royalling Stones.

1055
01:10:59,000 --> 01:11:02,600
We’re one of a kind, no category.

1056
01:11:02,800 --> 01:11:06,100
Too many years lost in history.

1057
01:11:06,200 --> 01:11:09,500
We’re free to take our crowning glory

1058
01:11:09,600 --> 01:11:14,000
For five more minutes, we’re SiX.

1059
01:11:14,100 --> 01:11:16,500
Alright, I got this, I got this!

1060
01:11:17,600 --> 01:11:21,000
What a shame, that my face, it cost me the 
crown.

1061
01:11:21,100 --> 01:11:24,700
So I moved to the [Haus of Holbein!] in my 
hometown.

1062
01:11:24,800 --> 01:11:28,400
His friends were super arty but I showed 
them how to party.

1063
01:11:28,500 --> 01:11:31,700
Now on my tour of Prussia, everybody “Gets 
Down.”

1064
01:11:31,800 --> 01:11:35,400
Music man tried it on, and I was like “bye.”

1065
01:11:35,500 --> 01:11:38,900
So I thought, who needs him? I can give it 
a try.

1066
01:11:39,400 --> 01:11:44,100
I learned everything, now all I do is sing.

1067
01:11:44,200 --> 01:11:46,000
And I’ll do that until I die.

1068
01:11:46,200 --> 01:11:49,600
Heard all about these rocking chicks.

1069
01:11:49,900 --> 01:11:53,200
Loved every song and each remix.

1070
01:11:53,300 --> 01:11:58,700
So I went out and found them, and we laid 
down an album. No, I don’t need your love.

1071
01:11:58,800 --> 01:12:02,300
All I need is SiX.

1072
01:12:02,800 --> 01:12:06,700
We’re one of a kind, no category.

1073
01:12:06,900 --> 01:12:10,000
Too many years lost in history.

1074
01:12:10,100 --> 01:12:13,500
We’re free to take our crowning glory

1075
01:12:13,600 --> 01:12:18,100
For five more minutes, we’re SiX.

1076
01:12:18,800 --> 01:12:20,500
Woah, woah,

1077
01:12:20,600 --> 01:12:21,500
we’re SiX.

1078
01:12:22,400 --> 01:12:24,000
Woah-oh-oh,

1079
01:12:24,300 --> 01:12:25,200
we’re SiX.

1080
01:12:26,000 --> 01:12:27,700
Woah, woah,

1081
01:12:27,800 --> 01:12:30,800
for four more minutes.

1082
01:12:31,400 --> 01:12:35,200
It’s the end of the show of the historemix.

1083
01:12:35,300 --> 01:12:38,800
We switched up the flow and we changed the 
prefix.

1084
01:12:38,900 --> 01:12:44,300
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives.

1085
01:12:45,900 --> 01:12:49,200
But we wanna say before we drop the curtain,

1086
01:12:49,700 --> 01:12:53,000
Nothing is for sure, nothing is for certain.

1087
01:12:53,100 --> 01:13:02,100
All that we know is that we used to be six 
wives.

1088
01:13:02,300 --> 01:13:07,100
But now we’re one of a kind, no category.

1089
01:13:07,500 --> 01:13:10,400
Too many years lost in history.

1090
01:13:10,500 --> 01:13:14,000
We’re free to take our crowning glory

1091
01:13:14,100 --> 01:13:16,500
For three more minutes.

1092
01:13:17,700 --> 01:13:21,200
We’re one of a kind, no category.

1093
01:13:21,600 --> 01:13:24,700
Too many years lost in history.

1094
01:13:24,800 --> 01:13:28,200
We’re free to take our crowning glory

1095
01:13:28,300 --> 01:13:31,300
For two more minutes,

1096
01:13:31,800 --> 01:13:32,700
We’re SiX.

1097
01:13:33,700 --> 01:13:35,300
Woah, woah,

1098
01:13:35,400 --> 01:13:36,600
we’re SiX.

1099
01:13:37,100 --> 01:13:38,900
Woah-oh-oh,

1100
01:13:39,000 --> 01:13:40,300
we’re SiX.

1101
01:13:40,400 --> 01:13:42,300
Woah, woah,

1102
01:13:42,400 --> 01:13:47,200
for five, four, three, two, One more minute.

1103
01:13:49,500 --> 01:13:52,100
We’re SiX!