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There is good news from the film division.

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The new Willy Wonka movie is ready for distribution.

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One matinee and two evening showings per 
day will be shown as per your orders.

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Theaters here here and here will also have 
the new V2 Victory Bar stocked in the snack 
bars.

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Wonderfull! Now the glory of the Reich will 
be seen by the whole world. Gene Wilder will 
continue to represent the blood of our nation.

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Mein Furher... Steiner...

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Steiner.., ordered the lead to be played 
by Johnny Depp.

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He is infatuated by his abilities.

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Will all extras, stunt doubles and lighting 
technicians please leave.

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JOHNNY "FREAKIN'" DEPP?

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You must be insane! He cannot play our national 
hero.

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He isn't BLOND! He isn't Handsome! And he 
most certainly isn't athletic!

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Could you imagine him taking the tumble that 
Gene Wilder took in the opening scene?

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He would end up in a PILE. A PILE OF DUNG!

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I explicitly ordered Gene Wilder to be cast 
in the remake.

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Johnny Depp is all the talk right now..

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My orders were crystal clear. There can be 
no misunderstanding.

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Mein Furher, Tim Burton insisted that we..

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Do you think I care about Tim Burton? When 
I find out which one of you is resposible 
for this.

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You will be made an example of. You will 
find out what happens to TRAITORS!

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You will rue the day you decided to disobey 
ORDERS!

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ORDERS that came from ME!

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Destroy all prints of this new release!

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I want every copy of this movie taken to 
the incinerator and burned!

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I don't care if it only runs every other 
day, light it!

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That man has a head made of cabbage. He has 
continued to undermine me at every opportunity.

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I know acting talent, Wilder is a God.

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Steiner.. I order immediately that he be 
removed from the propaganda division,

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and be placed on the Russian front. As a 
TARGET!

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He will be lashed to the front of the lead 
tank on our next Blitzkreig.

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And he will be wearing a DUNCE HAT!

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Crying..

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Don't cry, I also liked Edward Scissorhands.

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He must have been planted here by the British. 
Only they could be so devious.

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A trick. That's all.

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Gene Wilder could outdo Depp by simply raising 
an eybrow and smiling enigmatically.

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He would not even have to speak I am telling 
you.

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I want to be left alone..