00:00.7 - 00:03.2 We're finally ready to go to Chan's Gold, but the situation is evolving. 00:03.3 - 00:08.1 The Mind Flayer is gathering all of our old enemies for a good old-fashioned, Goose-Busters beat down. 00:08.2 - 00:13.0 He's called forth the Butcher, She-Of-The-Backwards-Hands-and-Elaborate-Introductions. 00:13.1 - 00:15.8 And they'll rendezvous with our Cronenberged Dwarf/Leonin pals - we're heavily outnumbered. 00:17.8 - 00:21.3 Okay...let's get ahold of Aronsha. He's a jerk, but that elf is our best chance of surviving this cluserfuck. 00:24.0 - 00:25.4 Capt. Brassbeak... 00:27.0 - 00:30.3 Aronsha is... 00:31.8 - 00:35.2 Aronsha is the real Big Bad, these other guys are just posers. We missed all of the foreshadowing. 00:53.0 - 00:54.3 If you haven't been in the Amber Temple, 00:54.4 - 00:56.3 wrassled with Sangzor, 00:56.4 - 00:57.4 punched a Demon Lord in the nards, 00:57.5 - 01:02.3 or weaponized magical legumes...get out. 01:13.2 - 01:14.5 ARONSHA IS THE BIG BAD?! 01:14.6 - 01:18.5 How did we fall for this heel-turn, bullshit fuckery AGAIN?! 01:19.3 - 01:23.4 First we turn over the entire town of Valaki to a bunch of demon-worshippers! 01:25.0 - 01:28.3 Not that it matters, everyone SUCKS in Barovia, but still, BALL DROPPED! 01:29.1 - 01:32.0 I've never seen less gratitude for saving people from vampires and monsters in MY LIFE 01:32.1 - 01:34.2 We saved them, and those people treated us like we were the SS! 01:34.3 - 01:37.2 Sure, there was collateral damage, and yes, SOME kids were eaten as pies 01:37.3 - 01:40.2 But everyone was giving us shit! Even those fucking gyspy stooges were mad at us! 01:40.3 - 01:42.1 Woah, buddy, I don't think it's PC to call those stereotypically Roma, transient enemies 'gypsies'... 01:43.0 - 01:46.2 OF COURSE IT'S NOT PC! It's gothic horror from the eighties, why the fuck would it be PC? 01:46.5 - 01:48.5 Easy pal, next you're going to tell me it's fine that all the black-skinned Drow are 'evil' 01:49.5 - 01:52.3 Well Viseran sure was fucking evil! Or did you forget about what he got us to do to Menzoberranzen? 01:52.4 - 01:54.5 Why do we have to overthink everything?! 01:56.1 - 02:00.1 Dredge was literally a psychotic death-robot programmed to kill everything in it's path 02:00.4 - 02:03.7 and we came an inch away from turning over the Maze Engine to that nutjob! 02:04.0 - 02:06.1 It's like everytime someone gives us the slightest reason to trust them 02:06.2 - 02:08.3 We blow past every single red flag! 02:08.9 - 02:10.9 If we were in a room with Sauron, Lolth, Mecha-Hitler and three bullets 02:11.0 - 02:12.2 The only question would be how they would decide kill us 02:12.3 - 02:13.6 After we handed them the fucking gun! 02:14.0 - 02:17.7 How have we allowed this hodge-podge, janky modified version of a tabletop game 02:17.8 - 02:18.7 To exploit our kindness again and again?! 02:18.8 - 02:19.9 Maybe instead of sympathizing with the NPCs, 02:20.0 - 02:23.7 We should just crush them under our boot, like Stalin! 02:26.6 - 02:29.0 Look, maybe I'm just a cranky business-goose... 02:30.2 - 02:32.0 But I'd like to think that a party 02:32.1 - 02:34.0 Of 18th-level characters, played by experienced players 02:34.1 - 02:38.9 Should maybe have caught some clues this time around. 02:40.9 - 02:42.1 Aronsha... 02:42.9 - 02:43.8 I've got PAGES of notes about that pointy-eared, 02:43.9 - 02:45.2 bald headed Mr.Clean looking, 02:45.3 - 02:46.5 David-Bowie-in-goddamn-Labyrinth-wannabee 02:46.6 - 02:47.9 Being SUPER sketchy and weird. 02:48.0 - 02:49.7 "Don't be a dick, Tycho!" 02:49.8 - 02:52.4 "Don't be another pint-sized, misanthropic D-Bag who won't work with the NPC's!" 02:54.1 - 02:56.0 Look at me. Blaming the rest of you when I skimmed right past those warning signs too 02:56.2 - 02:59.3 I was all high and mighty when I was DM-ing, dropping my OWN hints and foreshadowing 02:59.4 - 03:02.3 I hope you're taking notes, Brendan, I can't wait to see how you trick us into fucking the dog next time! 03:05.0 - 03:05.9 It's okay, Brendan,don't cry. 03:06.0 - 03:07.5 We already think you're a bad person because of the football thing 03:14.5 - 03:16.6 Session fifty, and things are as fucked as they've ever been. 03:19.2 - 03:23.4 What hope do a penguin, a cat, and a Mary Sue have against these odds? 03:25.1 - 03:26.8 We need a miracle. 03:31.2 - 03:33.4 Any beans in that pocket, Sprocket? 03:40.4 - 03:41.6 I'll tell you one thing, though 03:41.7 - 03:44.0 We will still take to our Spelljamming helms 03:44.1 - 03:46.3 And fly to our doom, gloriously flying into that inky Gloom 03:46.4 - 03:49.1 And dragging as many of these bastards into the sepulchral blackness of Death with us as we possibly can 03:54.4 - 03:58.9 After all, we DO have Darkvision, right?