1 00:00:00,700 --> 00:00:03,200 We're finally ready to go to Chan's Gold, but the situation is evolving. 2 00:00:03,300 --> 00:00:08,100 The Mind Flayer is gathering all of our old enemies for a good old-fashioned, Goose-Busters beat down. 3 00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:13,000 He's called forth the Butcher, She-Of-The-Backwards-Hands-and-Elaborate-Introductions. 4 00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:15,800 And they'll rendezvous with our Cronenberged Dwarf/Leonin pals - we're heavily outnumbered. 5 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:21,300 Okay...let's get ahold of Aronsha. He's a jerk, but that elf is our best chance of surviving this cluserfuck. 6 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,400 Capt. Brassbeak... 7 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:30,300 Aronsha is... 8 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:35,200 Aronsha is the real Big Bad, these other guys are just posers. We missed all of the foreshadowing. 9 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,300 If you haven't been in the Amber Temple, 10 00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:56,300 wrassled with Sangzor, 11 00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:57,400 punched a Demon Lord in the nards, 12 00:00:57,500 --> 00:01:02,300 or weaponized magical legumes...get out. 13 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:14,500 ARONSHA IS THE BIG BAD?! 14 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:18,500 How did we fall for this heel-turn, bullshit fuckery AGAIN?! 15 00:01:19,300 --> 00:01:23,400 First we turn over the entire town of Valaki to a bunch of demon-worshippers! 16 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:28,300 Not that it matters, everyone SUCKS in Barovia, but still, BALL DROPPED! 17 00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:32,000 I've never seen less gratitude for saving people from vampires and monsters in MY LIFE 18 00:01:32,100 --> 00:01:34,200 We saved them, and those people treated us like we were the SS! 19 00:01:34,300 --> 00:01:37,200 Sure, there was collateral damage, and yes, SOME kids were eaten as pies 20 00:01:37,300 --> 00:01:40,200 But everyone was giving us shit! Even those fucking gyspy stooges were mad at us! 21 00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:42,100 Woah, buddy, I don't think it's PC to call those stereotypically Roma, transient enemies 'gypsies'... 22 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:46,200 OF COURSE IT'S NOT PC! It's gothic horror from the eighties, why the fuck would it be PC? 23 00:01:46,500 --> 00:01:48,500 Easy pal, next you're going to tell me it's fine that all the black-skinned Drow are 'evil' 24 00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:52,300 Well Viseran sure was fucking evil! Or did you forget about what he got us to do to Menzoberranzen? 25 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:54,500 Why do we have to overthink everything?! 26 00:01:56,100 --> 00:02:00,100 Dredge was literally a psychotic death-robot programmed to kill everything in it's path 27 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:03,700 and we came an inch away from turning over the Maze Engine to that nutjob! 28 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:06,100 It's like everytime someone gives us the slightest reason to trust them 29 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:08,300 We blow past every single red flag! 30 00:02:08,900 --> 00:02:10,900 If we were in a room with Sauron, Lolth, Mecha-Hitler and three bullets 31 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,200 The only question would be how they would decide kill us 32 00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:13,600 After we handed them the fucking gun! 33 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:17,700 How have we allowed this hodge-podge, janky modified version of a tabletop game 34 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:18,700 To exploit our kindness again and again?! 35 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:19,900 Maybe instead of sympathizing with the NPCs, 36 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:23,700 We should just crush them under our boot, like Stalin! 37 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:29,000 Look, maybe I'm just a cranky business-goose... 38 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:32,000 But I'd like to think that a party 39 00:02:32,100 --> 00:02:34,000 Of 18th-level characters, played by experienced players 40 00:02:34,100 --> 00:02:38,900 Should maybe have caught some clues this time around. 41 00:02:40,900 --> 00:02:42,100 Aronsha... 42 00:02:42,900 --> 00:02:43,800 I've got PAGES of notes about that pointy-eared, 43 00:02:43,900 --> 00:02:45,200 bald headed Mr.Clean looking, 44 00:02:45,300 --> 00:02:46,500 David-Bowie-in-goddamn-Labyrinth-wannabee 45 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:47,900 Being SUPER sketchy and weird. 46 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,700 "Don't be a dick, Tycho!" 47 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:52,400 "Don't be another pint-sized, misanthropic D-Bag who won't work with the NPC's!" 48 00:02:54,100 --> 00:02:56,000 Look at me. Blaming the rest of you when I skimmed right past those warning signs too 49 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:59,300 I was all high and mighty when I was DM-ing, dropping my OWN hints and foreshadowing 50 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:02,300 I hope you're taking notes, Brendan, I can't wait to see how you trick us into fucking the dog next time! 51 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:05,900 It's okay, Brendan,don't cry. 52 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:07,500 We already think you're a bad person because of the football thing 53 00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:16,600 Session fifty, and things are as fucked as they've ever been. 54 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:23,400 What hope do a penguin, a cat, and a Mary Sue have against these odds? 55 00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:26,800 We need a miracle. 56 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:33,400 Any beans in that pocket, Sprocket? 57 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:41,600 I'll tell you one thing, though 58 00:03:41,700 --> 00:03:44,000 We will still take to our Spelljamming helms 59 00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:46,300 And fly to our doom, gloriously flying into that inky Gloom 60 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:49,100 And dragging as many of these bastards into the sepulchral blackness of Death with us as we possibly can 61 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:58,900 After all, we DO have Darkvision, right?