1
00:00:00,00 --> 00:00:06,000
I have prepared a lecture for you - 7 reasons 
why you will never find love

2
00:00:06,100 --> 00:00:14,000
The main purpose of the lecture is to disappoint 
you before life can

3
00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:23,300
Unfortunately, only now in the faces of some 
of you, I see that I am late ...

4
00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:26,500
... for which I apologize

5
00:00:28,100 --> 00:00:34,100
Life, as you have obviously found out, is 
a relatively unenviable situation.

6
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:40,000
You are a spirit trapped in a dying biological 
machine,

7
00:00:40,100 --> 00:00:44,600
and you rush through the vacuum on a piece 
of gravel.

8
00:00:57,100 --> 00:00:59,800
You pretend to have everything under control,

9
00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:05,000
yet you have absolutely no idea what this 
is about,

10
00:01:05,100 --> 00:01:07,000
you don't know what will happen in the next 
second,

11
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:11,900
and a medium-sized candy can kill you!

12
00:01:14,100 --> 00:01:16,900
And as if it wasn't too much for one,

13
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:25,000
so, in addition, you have to deal with premature 
ejaculation, punctuation and microtene bags.

14
00:01:27,100 --> 00:01:31,700
But perhaps the most caustic feeling of it 
all is the pervasive loneliness.

15
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:34,900
Human is ultimately alone.

16
00:01:35,300 --> 00:01:41,300
We are all in the middle of our own universe 
and we are absolutely alone in it.

17
00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:47,000
Everything you think about the world and 
yourself exists only in your head.

18
00:01:47,100 --> 00:01:52,900
The way you perceive yourself, no one else 
perceives you.

19
00:01:55,700 --> 00:02:00,500
No one will ever know you the way you want 
to be known.

20
00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:05,400
No one will ever understand how you feel.

21
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:11,700
We are each a lonely gherkin in our private 
jar.

22
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:21,000
We clink by glasses of jars as much as we 
can, but we will never touch gherkin to gherkin.

23
00:02:24,900 --> 00:02:38,600
And because this bleak state seems to be 
a little more bearable if someone talks to 
you, caresses you, cooks something for you, 
or gives you to use his or her genitals ...

24
00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:47,000
... so we try to outwit another human being 
to establish a relationship with us.

25
00:02:50,100 --> 00:02:54,800
According to the current romantic discourse 
...

26
00:02:54,900 --> 00:03:02,100
... an exclusive relationship, with us and 
exclusively with us, without access to the 
hearts and mucous membranes of other people 
...

27
00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:05,700
... and for at least until one of us dies.

28
00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:12,200
And here we come across the first problem, 
why you will never find the love.

29
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,000
"7 reasons why you will never find love"

30
00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:27,900
"Dating Lies"

31
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,700
When dating, we lie.

32
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:36,200
How we desperately try to convince the person 
opposite us at the table,

33
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:44,500
to sacrifice the exciting discovering of 
mental and physical nooks of dozens of people 
for a monotonous life with us,

34
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,200
we are forced to pretend to be amazing.

35
00:03:48,700 --> 00:03:54,200
And it's not easy, because we know we're 
not.

36
00:03:54,300 --> 00:04:00,000
We know that we would not want to spend our 
lives, with ourselves.

37
00:04:01,300 --> 00:04:04,900
If we somehow didn't have to.

38
00:04:08,500 --> 00:04:11,500
Therefore, after all, we are looking for 
a relationship.

39
00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:22,500
Courting is actually a paradoxical situation 
where we try to portray in the most amazing 
colors what we ourselves are most afraid 
of ...

40
00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:26,600
... namely, to spend life with us.

41
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:36,800
And as we try to panic about two billion 
competitors of our age and gender, we pretend 
to be someone else.

42
00:04:36,900 --> 00:04:45,700
We lie to make our counterpart think that 
we are an angel who has come down from heaven 
to complete him or her complementarily.

43
00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:50,600
She: "When I went to the first grade of elementary 
school, I caught lice on the very first day."

44
00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:55,500
He:"I love lice."

45
00:04:56,400 --> 00:05:08,000
And because you're both doing this, when 
the phenylethylamine drug comes to an end 
in a few months, you become a very tragic 
couple, ...

46
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:15,600
... confused, which finds no topics for conversation, 
because the only thing you have in common 
is that you both metabolize.

47
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:26,600
I do not need the presentation !

48
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:42,900
The second reason why love escapes us is 
that we have exaggerated demands.

49
00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:47,800
Even on the technology.

50
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:57,000
In a partnership, we require and are required 
from us, to fulfill a tremendous amount of 
roles.

51
00:05:57,100 --> 00:06:14,200
Household manager, best friend, co - parent, 
whore, chauffeur, cook, handyman, stylist, 
tourist guide, accountant, therapist. No 
wonder we fail in some of them.

52
00:06:14,300 --> 00:06:19,300
They are such different fields that we don't 
know many names from the professional world 
either,

53
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:23,600
which would succeed in only two fields at 
the same time.

54
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:27,500
How many cleaning ladies do you know who 
can calculate your taxes?

55
00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:31,200
Drivers who know how to dress well?

56
00:06:31,300 --> 00:06:36,100
When was the last time a chef in a restaurant 
made a good love with you?

57
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:44,800
One person you want to make meatloaf, and 
the other to spank you. (pun - almost the 
same Czech words for spank and meatloaf)

58
00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:53,700
It was only in marriage that we went crazy 
and we want everything from one person, plus 
an amateur.

59
00:06:56,600 --> 00:07:04,100
And not only do we want too much for one 
person, but our demands are conflicting.

60
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:09,000
We want him or her to be closest to us, but 
at the same time to remain fascinating and 
mysterious.

61
00:07:09,100 --> 00:07:13,700
To inspire and guide us, and to be obedient 
at the same time.

62
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:17,900
Men want a lady in the society and a whore 
in bed.

63
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:21,900
Women want a partner who is gentle and aggressive 
at the same time.

64
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:26,800
Gentle to them and at the same time aggressive 
to the surroundings, the so-called tender 
defender.

65
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:40,100
The ideal man according to this formula, 
looks like he is cuddling in bed with you, 
after which he hears a suspicious sound from 
the kitchen ...

66
00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:45,000
... gets up immediately, grabs a baseball 
bat, and no matter who gets caught in the 
kitchen ...

67
00:07:45,100 --> 00:07:49,900
... a rat or grandpa, he'll kill him ...

68
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:55,700
... or at least ugly cripple, and then come 
back and finish the cunnilingus.

69
00:07:58,900 --> 00:08:08,000
Men know this strange female demand, they 
are confused by it, but they try to meet 
it.

70
00:08:08,100 --> 00:08:15,400
Which can best be seen in the male music 
production, which ranges on a range of songs 
such as ...

71
00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:19,900
... "I will love you forever, my fluffy canapes" 
...

72
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:26,700
... to the song "I'll cut your balls and 
play petanque with them, you retarded Negro 
son of a bitch" ...

73
00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:32,500
... and thanks to this, women on Spotify 
can satisfy both poles of their needs.

74
00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:38,600
Another complication is our distorted idea 
of what the human body looks like.

75
00:08:38,700 --> 00:08:41,700
Our society considers nudity to be inappropriate.

76
00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:46,900
We have eradicated it almost completely from 
public life, and it is often taboo even in 
some families.

77
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:52,100
Media and marketing, on the other hand, are 
wallpapered with the buttocks, breasts and 
crotches.

78
00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:57,900
Many marketers still believe that the best 
way to sell you a circular saw is to cause 
you erection.

79
00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:12,600
The consequence ... is ...

80
00:09:12,700 --> 00:09:18,000
... that you will see the vast majority of 
the exposed bodies, you will see in your 
life, in the media.

81
00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:21,100
And they're always prettier than your body.

82
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:32,900
Which isn't so hard, because you're not a 
thirteen-year-old model who's breasts and 
pupils has been enlarged in Photoshop along 
with lengthened her legs, and erased braces 
and pimples.

83
00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:42,700
And because they put this in our field of 
view day by day, everywhere you go, your 
girlfriend doesn't like herself ...

84
00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:45,400
... nor to you.

85
00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:54,700
And that's why we tend to be disappointed, 
at the end of a successful date, if we unwrap 
an ordinary body, from the center of the 
Gaussian curve.

86
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:58,300
"How come her breasts are pointed and veins 
are visible?"

87
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,100
"How come he has abdominal muscles in his 
back?"

88
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:13,700
Because, this is what the human body looks 
like.

89
00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:20,300
If we all looked like Michelangelo's David, 
and had medicine balls instead of breasts,

90
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:26,100
as the media are trying to lie to us, anyone 
who will try to invent clothes will be imprisoned!

91
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:31,000
The third reason may surprise you

92
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,900
Love is destroyed by marriage

93
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:45,500
The wedding ritual, the purpose of which 
should be to help the marriage prosper, ,on 
the contrary, is for the marriage harmful 
by its form.

94
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:52,300
A woman dresses like a fairy, a man dresses 
like a waiter ...

95
00:10:55,800 --> 00:11:00,100
... the bride's father has a polished speech 
about how amazing his daughter is ...

96
00:11:00,500 --> 00:11:05,900
... and everyone rejoices and is moved as 
if a marriage were one endless orgasm ...

97
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:10,800
... and this inappropriate optimism is completely 
useless ...

98
00:11:10,900 --> 00:11:15,500
... and it will only make it harder for the 
couple, in the difficult times that are bound 
to come.

99
00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:23,700
A sensible society that values its members 
would be designated the wedding ceremony 
so that the couple benefit.

100
00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:28,800
So that they could turn back to it in difficult 
times and find solace in it.

101
00:11:28,900 --> 00:11:33,900
Relatives would not give you eight glass 
fruit bowls and a stick mixer,

102
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:40,800
but letters describing to you what makes 
their own relationships difficult.

103
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:45,700
Parents should give speeches on "How specifically 
we spoiled our children,"

104
00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:50,600
"and why it will be difficult to live with 
them."

105
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:56,000
Wedding vows would be replaced by more realistic 
...

106
00:11:56,100 --> 00:12:00,900
... and useful ones. For example, in the 
wording proposed by the "School of Life" 
initiative:

107
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:06,500
"I admit it's very difficult to live with 
me, in many ways I don't know about yet."

108
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:15,300
"We promise we won't panic if in a few years, 
what we're doing today will look like the 
worst decision of our lives."

109
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:28,800
"If you're rude and you call me a cunt, I'll 
try to remember in my heart that it's because 
you're hurt"

110
00:12:28,900 --> 00:12:33,700
"and not because you are bad at heart."

111
00:12:36,300 --> 00:12:42,800
"There's something terribly wrong with everyone. 
We promise we won't look elsewhere."

112
00:12:42,900 --> 00:12:50,300
"Out there, there's no one better. Once you 
know them, there's no one you can withstand 
with."

113
00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:58,000
"That I will never be able to stick another 
cock in another person / I will never be 
able to put another penis in myself ..."

114
00:12:58,100 --> 00:13:07,400
"... is one of the tragedies of existence. 
I apologize that my jealousy and your jealousy 
have made this strange self-sacrifice necessary."

115
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:17,100
Silence from the audience, followed by a 
melancholic performance of Pergolesi's Stabat 
mater, during which asparagus and lemon are 
...

116
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:24,400
... symbols of free sexuality, buried in 
a three-meter deep hole in the ground and 
covered with marble and concrete.

117
00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:35,800
The couple repeats: "We agree to watch the 
slow death of our sexuality, and we realize 
that from now on we will not do it so often."

118
00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:43,000
"I will not have affairs, not because you 
are so perfect, but because I have decided 
to be disappointed by you and only you"

119
00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:47,900
"and you will be disappointed by me and only 
by me"

120
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:53,000
"instead of exposing our defective selves 
to other innocent members of society,"

121
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:59,200
"who would be just as unbearable anyway once 
we knew them."

122
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:09,700
In unison with the audience: "For many days 
we will be unhappy, for many days we will 
suffer, for many days we will regret that 
we have ever done this madness."

123
00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:14,400
"It's not congratulations we need, it's condolences."

124
00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:22,900
The fourth reason why love fails is that 
we cannot squeeze out of sex its full potential.

125
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:28,900
Our society lives in the illusion that it 
underwent a sexual revolution in the 1960s.

126
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:37,900
It's not true. Although we now wear bikinis, 
and a third of the Internet is pornography, 
and the vibrator is an aesthetic home decoration 
...

127
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:42,800
He: "Please, darling, could you clean up 
the dildo? Mom's coming to dinner"

128
00:14:42,900 --> 00:14:52,300
She: "But, it complements the curtains so 
well, without it the living room completely 
loses its wow. You don't understand feng 
shue at all."

129
00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:57,300
He: "Okay, so can we at least take the anal 
plugs off the chandelier?"

130
00:14:57,400 --> 00:15:09,000
... but despite this apparent relaxation, 
eighty percent of us are still ashamed to 
tell our partner what he or she really wants 
in bed.

131
00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:20,400
That we have fantasies about incest, sex 
for money, for graduation ... sex during 
a job interview.

132
00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:25,100
That we want him to slap us on the ass with 
celery stalks.

133
00:15:26,900 --> 00:15:31,500
And the more ashamed we are, the sadder our 
sex lives are.

134
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:37,200
The power of sex lies in the fact that we 
are all ultimately lonely beings.

135
00:15:37,300 --> 00:15:46,000
We desperately try to make connections by 
using words, touches, we want someone to 
understand and accept us.

136
00:15:46,100 --> 00:15:54,200
And sex can create this illusion. Because 
you rarely feel as absolutely accepted as 
when someone takes your genitals in his or 
her mouths.

137
00:15:55,000 --> 00:16:05,100
So the next time someone tries to stuff his 
cock between your lips, understand that he 
just want you to accept him as he is.

138
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:08,700
And this is the principle of the cycle of 
life.

139
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:13,600
Nature has endowed us with excruciating, 
insurmountable solitude

140
00:16:13,700 --> 00:16:20,000
which we constantly, but in vain, try to 
overcome by rubbing our crotches against 
each other

141
00:16:20,100 --> 00:16:29,000
thereby creating new and new despair with 
exactly the same insatiable need. And the 
unnecessary carousel of suffering continues.

142
00:16:29,100 --> 00:16:33,900
The fifth culprit is pornography

143
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:38,000
When you wanted to masturbate in the last 
century, you basically had three options.

144
00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:42,900
Either take out the underwear page from the 
Nekermann catalog.

145
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:55,000
Wait when once a year Dada Patras takes a 
shower in "Vrchní, prchni" (famous explicit 
scene in a Czech iconic movie)

146
00:16:55,100 --> 00:17:05,200
Or turn to the most dazzling streaming service 
ever, which, unfortunately, due to poor resolution, 
is already experiencing a sharp decrease 
in number of users, to your own imagination.

147
00:17:05,300 --> 00:17:11,900
Today, you squat on the internet, so you 
see more genitals a day than a cleaning lady 
in a swimming pool.

148
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:16,800
Your brain is drowning in dopamine. It feels 
like you've come across a genetic jackpot.

149
00:17:16,900 --> 00:17:24,900
Which is a moment of fun, but only until 
you realize that this pushes your threshold 
of pleasure.

150
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:37,400
So all of a sudden, even if your date ended 
in sex, you're not completely satisfied, 
because she didn't lick her mother at the 
same time ... and you weren't secretly filmed 
by a pizza delivery boy.

151
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:47,600
And now I'm just talking about the risks 
you face if you use porn properly.

152
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:56,300
I'm not talking about it, when you're inattentive, 
you make a wrong mistake, and suddenly you 
watch two Lilliputians urinate on their sleeping 
grandmother.

153
00:17:56,400 --> 00:18:01,200
And you say: "What did I want?"

154
00:18:04,700 --> 00:18:14,100
Porn doesn't judge you. He is here, at a 
distance of one click, immediately ready 
to meet the most bizarre requirements of 
your libido.

155
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:19,000
And he doesn't care if you didn't vacuum 
the floor or you smack at dinner.

156
00:18:19,100 --> 00:18:24,900
Porn takes sex out of the emotional landscape 
of our real relationships

157
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:31,600
and so, instead of creating bonds with each 
other through sex, we watch the bound Japanese 
schoolgirls.

158
00:18:31,700 --> 00:18:36,500
Instead of using sex as a mutual intimate 
glue, we have a sticky mouse.

159
00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:41,400
But the greatest disservice for relationships

160
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:58,100
and love, made a bunch of hornymans 250 years 
ago led by Johan Wolfganag von Goethe

161
00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:06,900
and George Gorden Byern, who, when they were 
not gripping their pen,

162
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:11,800
were gripping their "other" pen,

163
00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:23,100
and established a whimpering literary direction 
- Romanticism, in which they blew out love 
in utterly absurd proportions and we believed 
them.

164
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:28,400
And we began to look for the love as described. 
And we start getting married out of love.

165
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:33,300
It wasn't before. People were used to marry 
the one who had the biggest goats.

166
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:38,200
It was not the best example (In Czech the 
goats is an expressive term for tits.) The 
biggest cows. The biggest herd of cows.

167
00:19:38,300 --> 00:19:44,600
And marriage has been primarily an economic 
unit.

168
00:19:44,700 --> 00:19:47,900
Today is it something that should make you 
happy until death.

169
00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:52,300
We confused marriage and heroin.

170
00:19:55,500 --> 00:20:00,400
And according to Goethe and the other quill-chasers,

171
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:05,200
should your love look like meeting a person,

172
00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:11,600
unearthly beautiful, inside and out. You 
will immediately fall in love.Both.

173
00:20:11,700 --> 00:20:18,300
You have fantastic sex, but not just in the 
beginning, but all the time.

174
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:25,800
You understand each other without words. 
You raise several children without the slightest 
loss of emotional and sexual intensity.

175
00:20:25,900 --> 00:20:30,500
And you will never be attracted to anyone 
else again.

176
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:34,300
And if that's not the case, you haven't found 
the right one yet.

177
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:39,200
And that's why everyone is unhappy because 
it's a bull shit.

178
00:20:39,300 --> 00:20:47,400
All of it. Of course, the passion wears off. 
The only thing standing in bed after two 
years is speech.

179
00:20:51,200 --> 00:21:01,600
And children. Children are the main enemies 
of sex. In exactly the same places where 
you used to make naughty things, now you 
have to read a fairy tale about three naughty 
piglets.

180
00:21:01,700 --> 00:21:07,600
"And then, the big bad wolf blew down the 
pig's house of straw."

181
00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:12,500
And it was by far the only blow job.

182
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:23,500
And that no one else will ever attract you 
again?

183
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:31,700
Foolish. Unless you at the wedding, you took 
the biggest shard from the plate you break 
and castrated each other.

184
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:36,600
Of course it will. You still have hormones. 
And the others still have butts.

185
00:21:36,700 --> 00:21:41,700
And that you understand each other without 
words? Nobody understands you!

186
00:21:43,900 --> 00:21:47,000
Not even WITH words.

187
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:58,500
The words are just a little louder exhalations 
that you let out of the hole in your head 
so that you don't feel so alone.

188
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:02,800
And you're happy when someone responds.

189
00:22:02,900 --> 00:22:05,900
But communication is an illusion.

190
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:09,700
In a fact, relationships are like a mobile 
toilet.

191
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:24,600
When you're out, you want in ...

192
00:22:24,700 --> 00:22:34,100
... because you have pressure in your pants. 
And when you're inside, you can't breathe, 
and you want to get out as soon as possible,

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because you had no idea there could exists 
so much shit together.

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00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:53,400
However ... it's not worth running away from, 
you can easily stay in the mobile toilet 
where you are, because, as has already been 
said here, there is no better outside.

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Everyone is broken.

196
00:22:57,900 --> 00:23:02,700
We are all weird. Therefore, no one will 
maintain eye contact with you.

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00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:06,700
This has been quick.

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00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:11,600
If you know someone normal, you know you 
don't know him.

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00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:30,800
And that brings us to the main reason why 
you can't find a love, and that is,  that 
is impossible to FIND a love.

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00:23:30,900 --> 00:23:33,200
You have to create it.

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Realize that the way you are now, it means 
weird, empty and perverted, so you are fine. 
And you deserve it.

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You need to start loving yourself, because 
the only place love can come from is from 
here.

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Until then, please do not build relationships. 
Good night.