1 00:00:00,00 --> 00:00:03,800 Heh, hashtags and threads are funny. 2 00:00:03,900 --> 00:00:04,700 #ZeusIsStillHorny, heh- 3 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:05,300 BOI! 4 00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:08,900 Dad, what the fuck?! I spent all my XP money on that tablet! 5 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:10,200 Hurry up, b o i! We are hunting deer! 6 00:00:10,300 --> 00:00:10,900 B-But, dad- 7 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,600 Hnnrgh!(continued slapping) 8 00:00:12,700 --> 00:00:15,200 (cough x3) Oh, god, okay dad! 9 00:00:15,300 --> 00:00:16,900 You will become a man and shoot the deer with your bow! 10 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,300 B-But, dad I don't want to- 11 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:19,800 Hnnrgh! (continued slapping) 12 00:00:19,900 --> 00:00:24,000 NNGH, GOD! GOD, IT FUCKIN' HURTS! 13 00:00:24,100 --> 00:00:26,000 Okay, b o i, cut the dear open so he stays dead. 14 00:00:26,100 --> 00:00:27,900 B-but I can't- 15 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:29,300 Ehh, fine. 16 00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:31,500 GAH, I'M FUCKIN- bleeh 17 00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:33,600 Can I at least mourn for it, dad? 18 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:35,000 (Kratos rolling off) 19 00:00:35,100 --> 00:00:36,300 Ugh, whatever 20 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:43,400 #DadIssues! The issue is not my problem, it's that my dad has plenty of issues. Ugh, Happy Father's Day. 21 00:00:43,500 --> 00:00:47,500 Huh. Well how on earth are we gonna get up there? That's gonna take an awful long time- 22 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:49,700 (Kratos rolling off (again)) 23 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:51,400 I don't know what I expected. 24 00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:52,100 Get on my back, b o i! 25 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:54,100 Ugh, fine, but take it slowly, okay? 26 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:56,400 DAD, SLOW THE FUCK DOWN! 27 00:00:56,500 --> 00:00:57,300 We've made it, b o i! 28 00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:58,500 Dad, look out! 29 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:05,400 Brother, look at me. You can't defeat me, I don't feel anything- 30 00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:07,100 (kratos slapping the shit out of baldur) 31 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:13,000 (cough x3) What the fuck! I told you I couldn't feel anything! 32 00:01:13,100 --> 00:01:15,100 We need to find bitch lady. 33 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:16,900 What, bitch lady? What are you talking about- 34 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,100 (kratos rolling off once more) 35 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:20,500 Are you just gonna keep doing this every time? 36 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,100 OH, GOD! I ROLLED OVER A PIG, WHAT THE HELL DID I DO?! 37 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:24,800 Kratos! You could have killed him! 38 00:01:24,900 --> 00:01:25,600 I won't let him die, though. 39 00:01:25,700 --> 00:01:28,800 Grab his wounds and pull them closer. Then I'll perform my magic- 40 00:01:28,900 --> 00:01:30,000 (oh no, poor pig) 41 00:01:30,100 --> 00:01:33,000 Oh *oink*, yes, quite rather *oink*, thank you for reviving me! 42 00:01:33,100 --> 00:01:36,600 *oink* Oh, I feel faint *oink*, ooh *oink*, carry me! *oink* 43 00:01:36,700 --> 00:01:38,300 What? I could bring people back to life as well! 44 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:41,100 Quickly, grab him so we can retreat to my big giant turtle house! 45 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:42,300 (is he just gonna do this instead of walking?) 46 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:46,000 Is anyone gonna explain why are we inside a giant fucking turtle? 47 00:01:46,100 --> 00:01:51,600 *sniff* I welcomed you to my home... *even longer sniff* You (unfunny algorithm word)! 48 00:01:51,700 --> 00:01:53,800 So, are you gonna tell him that you're a god, Kratos? 49 00:01:53,900 --> 00:01:56,700 You two are in danger if they find out you're outsiders! 50 00:01:56,800 --> 00:02:00,000 Oh, don't worry, ma'am! I know he's a god! This is New Game+, remember? 51 00:02:00,100 --> 00:02:01,600 New Game plus? 52 00:02:01,700 --> 00:02:03,500 Anyway, grab me a flower. 53 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:04,000 *slap* 54 00:02:04,100 --> 00:02:08,200 Good, now I'm going to mark with some magic so it protects you finding you- 55 00:02:08,300 --> 00:02:09,900 Don't hit ladies, Kratos. It's 2021. 56 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:12,600 Now, go! Off on your peerless journey! 57 00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:14,500 (how the fuck are they rolling in the water? 58 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:16,300 Stay calm, b o i! 59 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:18,700 I am! This is fucking amazing! 60 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:29,300 *roughly translated* Umm, you better have a bloody good reason why you awoke me. 7 A.M. in the fucking morning! I had a week of sleep! Do you mind explaining you- 61 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:30,300 (how is his hand so big?) 62 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:31,800 What the fuck, uh! 63 00:02:31,900 --> 00:02:34,400 (okay i genuinely cannot understand him) 64 00:02:34,500 --> 00:02:35,900 Alright, get inside. 65 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:43,700 You could have just used me to translate him, you know. You chopped me head off, pretty much skipped all the enemies. You mind what YouTube's gonna make of this? 66 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:44,200 (oh no not mimir) 67 00:02:44,300 --> 00:02:46,800 Oh, right, who the hell cares, am i right. 68 00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:49,300 We need that second eye of mine so I can get you to the mountain's peak. 69 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:52,800 Alright, there, mate! We're gonna cut your throat open! 70 00:02:52,900 --> 00:02:55,100 Huh, are you joking me?! 71 00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:56,500 You'll get your time, Terrance. 72 00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,300 B O I, give me his eye. 73 00:02:58,400 --> 00:02:58,700 Oh, right! 74 00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:01,200 Woah, I can see colours! 75 00:03:01,300 --> 00:03:04,600 Oh, my god! I finally know what you look like! 76 00:03:04,700 --> 00:03:08,300 I... did not expect you to be a pale man by any means- (oh come on) 77 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:11,200 Oh, right, of course! Binary thinking will kill us all! 78 00:03:11,300 --> 00:03:17,800 [NARRATOR] Will Kratos and Atreus make it to the top of the mountain to spread their beloved ashes and meet with the giants? 79 00:03:17,900 --> 00:03:20,600 Will Mimir ever stop gawking at Kratos' asscheeks? 80 00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:23,900 And will Atreus ever find out that his father is a god? 81 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:26,200 Find out- In the next second actually! 82 00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:27,900 Oh, fuckin' hell. 83 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:33,800 BROTHER! I told you you can't defeat me! I don't feel anything! 84 00:03:33,900 --> 00:03:35,500 B O I S! Stop fighting! 85 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:36,700 Not now, Mothah! 86 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:39,800 I won't let you hurt my b o i, Kratos! Mark my words- 87 00:03:39,900 --> 00:03:41,600 (the ultimate slap) 88 00:03:41,700 --> 00:03:44,700 NO! MY BOY! *weeping* 89 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:48,100 Is this your dirty pleasure?! 90 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:51,300 I'm sure there's plenty you're hiding from your b o i! 91 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:52,700 Well, go ahead! 92 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,300 He's listening now! 93 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:57,200 Spill the tea, Kratos! 94 00:03:57,300 --> 00:03:58,800 What's she talking about? 95 00:03:58,900 --> 00:04:04,800 Huh. B o i. I am a god who's killed many. 96 00:04:04,900 --> 00:04:06,100 Okay, that's cool. 97 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:07,100 It was that fucking easy?! 98 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:08,700 Let's head to the mountains, b o i. 99 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:10,100 (oh look even Atreus is joining in) 100 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:13,200 I'm so sick of these exploits... 101 00:04:13,300 --> 00:04:16,600 Farewell, beloved. You're with the giants now. 102 00:04:16,700 --> 00:04:18,500 It's what she would have wanted, right? 103 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:19,700 Yes. 104 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:20,600 Now let us go home. 105 00:04:20,700 --> 00:04:23,600 Hard to believe we did all this just to spread some ashes. 106 00:04:23,700 --> 00:04:27,300 You think she'd just be fine by being set free around the house, but, ah, well. 107 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:28,500 Dad? 108 00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:29,600 What is it, boy? 109 00:04:29,700 --> 00:04:32,500 I think this whole experience was prepared all along. 110 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:34,500 Oh my god. 111 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:41,300 This is fucked. Boi, what have we found? 112 00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:44,500 (kratos is losing his mind oh no) 113 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:49,400 oh hey the video is over cool.