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JEREMY CORBYN: COMRADES, DIANE ABBOTT DOESN’T 
RATE ED BALLS' MEMOIRS: 'SPEAKING OUT'

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JOHN MCDONNELL: WHAT'S THE LOONEY SAY?

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CORBYN: BALLS SAYS I'M PURSUING A “LEFT-WING 
UTOPIAN FANTASY”  BLINKY SAYS MY APPROACH 
IS “DEVOID OF CONNECTION WITH THE REALITY 
OF PEOPLE'S LIVES”

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MCDONNELL: UNLIKE HIS?

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CORBYN: YEAH. ASK THE VOTERS OF MORLEY & 
OUTWOOD.

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MCDONNELL: WHAT ELSE IS NEW?

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TOM WATSON: NOTHING MUCH. SINCE MAY SUCCEEDED 
CAMERON THE TORIES HAVE CLOSED RANKS

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LEN MCCLUSKEY: YES, HIM 'N HIS PAL OSBORNE 
WERE OUR BEST HOPES FOR THE TORIES SCREWING 
IT ALL UP

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MCDONNELL: THEN THEY LOOKED ALL SET FOR A 
MONUMENTAL PUNCH-UP WITH BORIS AND GOVE  
 SUDDENLY WIFF-WAFF AND MOTHER THERESA’S 
THE ONLY ONE LEFT STANDING

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CORBYN: DI ALSO SAYS THAT WELSH WHATSISNAME 
THE PR PRAT IS HAVIN' ANOTHER GO AT ME

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TRAITORS EVERYWHERE. NO ONE TRUSTS ANYONE

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THE PLP HAVE TURNED OUT TO BE CLOSET TORIES 
- LIBDEMS AT BEST. EVEN THAT BUSINESS-TWAT 
BRANSON’S DISSING ME. WHO’D BELIEVE HIM?

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SO YOU'RE NOT BACKING OWEN SMITH? YOU'RE 
STILL LOYAL TO ME?

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WATSON: YES

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CORBYN: I ASSUME YOU’RE TAKING A LOW PROFILE 
IN MY RE-ELECTION FOR THE SAKE OF PARTY UNITY?

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WATSON: YES. I FEEL THAT’S BEST FOR THE PARTY.

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CORBYN: AND IT WOULD BE WRONG TO BE SEEN 
TAKING SIDES?

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WATSON: YES.

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CORBYN: AND ALL MY OTHER FRIENDS ARE SUPPORTING 
ME?

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WATSON: YEAH

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CORBYN: GOOD. GOOD. THANKS FOR BRINGING ROUND 
DI’S MESSAGE

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COME AND SEE ME AGAIN SOON AND DON’T PUT 
IT AWAY SO MUCH

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YOU LOOK LIKE ERIC PICKLES UNDER-STUDY

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ANDY BURNHAM: WITH FRIENDS LIKE WATSON….

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CORBYN: SHUSH. HE’S A TWO-FACED TWAT WHO 
SHOULD HAVE STUCK AT BEING NONCE-FINDER GENERAL

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GO HOME. NO NEED TO WASTE ANY BREATH ON BALLS 
OR OWEN ‘OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS’ SMITH  WHO’S 
HEARD OF SMITH ANYWAY?

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