1
00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:58,500
Hey gurl, wanna talk to me?

2
00:00:58,600 --> 00:00:59,900
So how's week 5 of your 4-day lockdown? What's 
the food situation in Shanghai?

3
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,500
Food? Like to eat?

4
00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:03,000
I mean, what kind of food has your compound 
given you?

5
00:01:03,100 --> 00:01:04,800
Erm, about 50 of those massive white turnip 
fuckers

6
00:01:04,900 --> 00:01:07,100
A shitload of garlic, a carrot. Weird shit.

7
00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:10,100
But you have group buys for Baker & Spice 
and Shake Shack right?

8
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:13,100
Ha - I somehow got deleted out of my compound 
wechat for sharing 'Don't eat me' memes

9
00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:16,200
I got an Epermarket box, like 2 weeks ago, 
so been eating chickpeas out of a can.

10
00:01:16,300 --> 00:01:17,400
Aren't you starving?

11
00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:21,900
I have been dream-eating: Saizeriya, Brothers 
Kebab, Yang's dumplings, the usual shit...

12
00:01:22,100 --> 00:01:28,900
Most nights I dream-eat that dip tray of 
mystery meat on the counter at Lawson's. 
Lush.

13
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,000
You know this is gonna last another 16 weeks?

14
00:01:30,100 --> 00:01:31,000
What?

15
00:01:31,100 --> 00:01:32,400
Yeah, gonna keep you locked up for another 
16 weeks...

16
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:34,100
16 more fucking weeks?

17
00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:35,700
That's bollocks, really?

18
00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:40,500
So your stuck in your pants, alone, in your 
shitty Jing'an 1-bed with your weird-ass 
Sherpa-dreams until September...

19
00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:51,700
Yeah man, everyone's started going mental

20
00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:56,700
I haven't had a shower in 4 weeks and have 
started crocheting cat puppets from my pubic 
hair...