00:00.0 - 00:03.5
Here is the Election Day briefing in Demoncrat-run Ward 1

00:04.0 - 00:11.7
ATVs have been seen here on U Street and by the Wawa

00:11.8 - 00:16.6
DC Homos has continued tweeting and was last seen in Adams Morgan

00:17.1 - 00:21.9
Regensburg, Steiner and the MPD votes will overwhelm them

00:24.6 - 00:30.3
Mein candidate...Steiner

00:30.4 - 00:37.1
Steiner didn't switch his registration from Republican to Democrat. None of the MPD did so they can't vote for you and we're losing by 11%.

00:52.1 - 01:10.4
Everyone who couldn't vote for me because they live in Pennsylvania or didn't switch their registration get out of this room.

01:13.4 - 01:18.0
This is absurd! This whole election is absurd!

01:18.1 - 01:24.5
Jo-Ann said the Post endorsement was all I needed!

01:24.6 - 01:30.3
Jonetta told me I had this in the bag!

01:31.8 - 01:34.6
Whose idea was it to have a campaign manager whose initials were SS?

01:34.7 - 01:40.3
How was I supposed to know the Democrats had Google?

01:40.4 - 01:42.3
Mein candidate we deleted all of your tweets

01:42.4 - 01:46.3
And they still figured it out anyway!

01:46.4 - 01:48.3
Mein candidate, you picked Will and Erik yourself

01:48.4 - 01:51.7
And you had to go out and get caught tearing down campaign signs in front of 40 thousand viewers

01:52.7 - 01:54.7
She stole this election from me!

01:55.4 - 02:04.1
She got all of the union endorsements and all you idiots could get me was dirty Republican DFER money through Victory Fund!

02:04.2 - 02:13.5
And now everything I've worked on since June 2020 has come to nothing!

02:13.6 - 02:17.2
I had to put up with so much woke crap to try and fool them

02:17.3 - 02:22.1
These whiny Ward 1 voters are to the left of Stalin!

02:26.4 - 02:29.3
I gave up being a cop for this

02:29.4 - 02:34.2
I loved arresting people, crushing their dreams

02:34.3 - 02:39.1
I miss it so damn much

02:40.2 - 02:47.8
Now all I have to look foward to is writing for the DC Line like a washed up hack

02:47.9 - 02:53.5
What fucking good was Anthony Williams when he doesn't endorse until the end of the campaign?

02:53.6 - 02:55.7
Why did we listen to Josh Lopez?

02:55.8 - 03:03.0
Why the hell weren't we vetting people after the William Pack story came out?