00:00.5 - 00:03.3
My dad said I could use his cargo ties.

00:04.0 - 00:05.5
And Fritz thinks his mom is going to let him borrow the truck.

00:05.6 - 00:07.5
We'll just have to pay for gas.

00:08.0 - 00:12.0
We have no information whether the showers will be operational.

00:12.1 - 00:15.5
But there are reports of fire ants here, here, and here.

00:17.5 - 00:19.0
Don't worry about ants.

00:19.1 - 00:21.5
We'll camp with the royals.  They won't get ants.

00:24.7 - 00:26.5
Your Grace...

00:27.5 - 00:28.5
The event...

00:30.1 - 00:33.5
It's still not an SCA event.

00:34.0 - 00:36.0
It seems unlikely it will ever be an SCA event again.

00:53.0 - 00:58.5
If you have ever said you can't use something because it isn't period, get out of my sight.

01:13.0 - 01:15.0
JESUS COCKBITING CHRIST!

01:15.2 - 01:17.7
This is all I have!

01:18.7 - 01:23.3
My teeth are rotten.  I have a demeaning, part-time job.  And I live in my parent's basement!

01:25.2 - 01:28.0
But that big idiot out there carries my shit around...

01:29.2 - 01:31.0
...when I wear a belt that makes me look like Michael Jackson!

01:31.5 - 01:34.0
Now this independent crap.

01:34.7 - 01:37.7
I can't get away with shit.

01:37.8 - 01:40.5
I can't kick anybody off the field!

01:40.6 - 01:42.7
Your Grace, we can still go and have fun!

01:42.8 - 01:46.3
Asshole marshals won't do what I tell them!  What if the other side wins!

01:46.5 - 01:48.8
But, Your Grace, it's still living history.

01:48.9 - 01:52.0
Did you really just say that?  You, who never made squire?

01:53.0 - 01:54.5
Fuck history!

01:56.0 - 01:57.7
I wear underarmour.

01:57.8 - 02:00.5
Remember that from history class, you dickhead?

02:00.6 - 02:03.5
Or my propane grill?  Or your cigarettes?!

02:04.5 - 02:08.0
I do this so I can push people around...

02:08.7 - 02:13.5
...and get away with it because I'm a goddamn peer.

02:14.0 - 02:16.7
I can't be nobody there too.

02:17.5 - 02:19.5
Now I'm going to end up camped next to some jerkwad...

02:20.3 - 02:22.1
...like Aveloc!

02:27.0 - 02:29.0
And now everybody's got goddamn herpes.

02:30.5 - 02:34.0
It's like a goddamn vagina minefield.

02:34.5 - 02:36.5
Makes me almost think we should start our own medieval club.

02:41.0 - 02:42.5
My own club...

02:43.0 - 02:47.5
...the point of which is that I get to sleep with everybody's girlfriend!

02:48.5 - 02:53.0
And I don't have to traverse fucking North America!

02:54.0 - 02:56.0
It's like that town from The Hills Have Eyes.

02:56.5 - 02:59.8
And those damned belly dancing sea cows!

03:00.0 - 03:02.5
Who the hell ever heard of a Native American Irish belly dancer fairy?!

03:04.7 - 03:07.5
We'll go to shooting and fuck stuff up later.

03:14.2 - 03:16.3
But that skinny, blonde chick is the worst of them.

03:19.2 - 03:23.3
I swear she goes and vandalizes the place when nobody's there.

03:25.5 - 03:26.8
Fix your cuirass.

03:31.5 - 03:33.8
And your gorget's crooked.

03:39.7 - 03:46.2
Maybe we could do the World War 2 thing instead.

03:46.5 - 03:49.0
Anything where I get to kill people, I guess.

03:53.7 - 03:56.0
But I still get to nail your girlfriend.