1 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:03,300 My dad said I could use his cargo ties. 2 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,500 And Fritz thinks his mom is going to let him borrow the truck. 3 00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:07,500 We'll just have to pay for gas. 4 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:12,000 We have no information whether the showers will be operational. 5 00:00:12,100 --> 00:00:15,500 But there are reports of fire ants here, here, and here. 6 00:00:17,500 --> 00:00:19,000 Don't worry about ants. 7 00:00:19,100 --> 00:00:21,500 We'll camp with the royals. They won't get ants. 8 00:00:24,700 --> 00:00:26,500 Your Grace... 9 00:00:27,500 --> 00:00:28,500 The event... 10 00:00:30,100 --> 00:00:33,500 It's still not an SCA event. 11 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,000 It seems unlikely it will ever be an SCA event again. 12 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:58,500 If you have ever said you can't use something because it isn't period, get out of my sight. 13 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,000 JESUS COCKBITING CHRIST! 14 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,700 This is all I have! 15 00:01:18,700 --> 00:01:23,300 My teeth are rotten. I have a demeaning, part-time job. And I live in my parent's basement! 16 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:28,000 But that big idiot out there carries my shit around... 17 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:31,000 ...when I wear a belt that makes me look like Michael Jackson! 18 00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:34,000 Now this independent crap. 19 00:01:34,700 --> 00:01:37,700 I can't get away with shit. 20 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:40,500 I can't kick anybody off the field! 21 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,700 Your Grace, we can still go and have fun! 22 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:46,300 Asshole marshals won't do what I tell them! What if the other side wins! 23 00:01:46,500 --> 00:01:48,800 But, Your Grace, it's still living history. 24 00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:52,000 Did you really just say that? You, who never made squire? 25 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,500 Fuck history! 26 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,700 I wear underarmour. 27 00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:00,500 Remember that from history class, you dickhead? 28 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:03,500 Or my propane grill? Or your cigarettes?! 29 00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:08,000 I do this so I can push people around... 30 00:02:08,700 --> 00:02:13,500 ...and get away with it because I'm a goddamn peer. 31 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,700 I can't be nobody there too. 32 00:02:17,500 --> 00:02:19,500 Now I'm going to end up camped next to some jerkwad... 33 00:02:20,300 --> 00:02:22,100 ...like Aveloc! 34 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:29,000 And now everybody's got goddamn herpes. 35 00:02:30,500 --> 00:02:34,000 It's like a goddamn vagina minefield. 36 00:02:34,500 --> 00:02:36,500 Makes me almost think we should start our own medieval club. 37 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,500 My own club... 38 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:47,500 ...the point of which is that I get to sleep with everybody's girlfriend! 39 00:02:48,500 --> 00:02:53,000 And I don't have to traverse fucking North America! 40 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,000 It's like that town from The Hills Have Eyes. 41 00:02:56,500 --> 00:02:59,800 And those damned belly dancing sea cows! 42 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,500 Who the hell ever heard of a Native American Irish belly dancer fairy?! 43 00:03:04,700 --> 00:03:07,500 We'll go to shooting and fuck stuff up later. 44 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:16,300 But that skinny, blonde chick is the worst of them. 45 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:23,300 I swear she goes and vandalizes the place when nobody's there. 46 00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:26,800 Fix your cuirass. 47 00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:33,800 And your gorget's crooked. 48 00:03:39,700 --> 00:03:46,200 Maybe we could do the World War 2 thing instead. 49 00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:49,000 Anything where I get to kill people, I guess. 50 00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:56,000 But I still get to nail your girlfriend.