1
00:00:00,00 --> 00:00:02,100
(Grattan Street, Prahran - Dec 2019)

2
00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:15,200
Mr Anderson, the results have come in from 
the series... We selected our strongest squad. 
After an initial loss in Hong Kong, we went 
to Dubai. The planned decider in Berlin may 
not go ahead...

3
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:21,500
No problem Bridgette. We have never lost 
in Dubai. The series must be level. We will 
win the decider in Berlin.

4
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:26,200
Mr Anderson...

5
00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:28,900
Smith...

6
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:36,300
Smith scored a maiden test century. We lost 
by ten wickets in Dubai. The series has ended 
2-0 Mr Anderson.

7
00:00:52,500 --> 00:01:00,200
Wiggins, West, Greaves, and Hagedorn. Leave 
immediately.

8
00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:23,600
What the fuck happened?! How? Smith! How 
did Smith score a century? Its unbelievable 
in Dubai that could happen.

9
00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:28,000
We have been totally ashamed.

10
00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:37,100
Absolutely ashamed. At our own home ground. 
We had them on toast. Remi Hill and Franceseca 
O Hearn had them in all sorts.

11
00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:40,300
And Jonathan Smith has never passed ten in 
a test match. TEN.

12
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:42,800
Mr Anderson we can always select Randy Anderson 
next time.

13
00:01:42,900 --> 00:01:45,900
RANDY ANDERSON? ARE YOU THICK BRENNAN? FUCK 
ME - Hope has already beaten Canada once!

14
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:48,700
Mr Anderson, we have Annabelle Eastoe in 
the youth team to call up.

15
00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:52,700
The youth team, you stupid boy Brennan. We 
are finished. No match in Berlin.

16
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,400
Its over Brennan.

17
00:01:55,400 --> 00:02:07,500
We will be coaching the fucking Red Cliffs 
Under 15s side after this performance. They 
may as well bring in Sean Elicott in as Manager 
after our display.

18
00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:22,100
I still can't believe we lost in Dubai. What 
a disgrace. We should resign. Smith isn't 
even their best batter, Lynch wasnt even 
available and we still couldn't beat them. 
Fuck me!

19
00:02:27,100 --> 00:02:36,600
All I wanted was to beat Lynch and Hope. 
That's what we have been training for all 
year. And now we have lost all respect. Because 
of Jonathan Smith!

20
00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:49,100
With his Yorkshire accent and money belt 
in Dubai, he's given us a fucking lesson.

21
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:54,000
Next youl be telling me that the Little Creatures 
girl has joined their squad. Or that the 
Life XI has been banned by the ICC.

22
00:02:54,200 --> 00:03:02,500
Well actually that might be a good thing, 
given that fucking shambolic display in the 
last few weeks. Lets all wear blue chinos 
and celebrate the opposition.

23
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:08,100
Don't worry, you don't have to spill black 
bean sauce on them.