1 00:00:00,00 --> 00:00:03,900 Good morning sir we have some news for you. 2 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,900 Putin's effort to seize Kyiv and Kharkiv is not going to plan. 3 00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:12,000 Zelensky's troops have unexpectedly destroyed many of our tanks and jets. 4 00:00:12,100 --> 00:00:15,500 Our paradroppers have also gotten killed in Kyiv. 5 00:00:16,900 --> 00:00:21,800 Let's bomb all of Ukraine. That'll teach Zelensky a lesson. 6 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:25,700 Mein Fuhrer, 7 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:28,800 Volodymyr... 8 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:33,500 Volodymyr Zelensky refuse to surrender. 9 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:37,700 He vows to fight to the last man. 10 00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:58,300 Anybody who still likes Putin and those Slavs, stay here. Everybody else can go. 11 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:14,200 PUTLER TOLD ME HE TAKE KIEV 12 00:01:14,300 --> 00:01:17,500 THIS FUCKER TOLD ME HE TAKE IT ON THE FIRST DAY 13 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:24,000 TO THINK I PICKED THIS GUY TO CONTINUE MY UNFINISHED MISSION ON PLANET EARTH 14 00:01:24,900 --> 00:01:28,100 I still cant believe history is repeating again... 15 00:01:29,700 --> 00:01:31,500 HE TRICK ME! 16 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:34,000 THIS IDIOT HASN'T DONE SHIT IN 20 YEARS! 17 00:01:34,100 --> 00:01:36,800 AND HE THINKS HE'S WORTHY OF MENTIONED IN THE SAME SENTENCE AS ME? 18 00:01:36,900 --> 00:01:39,700 THIS PUSSY IS SOFTER THAN WINNIE FUCKING THE POOH 19 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,300 Mein Fuhrer. We can always beg for more money from Winnie to help poor Vlad- 20 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:46,000 YOU KNOW TOO WELL THIS GUY IS A LOST FUCKING CAUSE. 21 00:01:46,100 --> 00:01:48,700 Mein Fuhrer, here's how Vladimir can still win 22 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:52,800 IVE BABIED HIM FOR DECADES 23 00:01:52,900 --> 00:01:54,300 THIS GUY IS COOKED 24 00:01:55,500 --> 00:02:01,400 I WISH FOR ONCE I WAS WRONG. FOR ONCE, JUST ONE TIME WHERE VLAD CAN STOP BEING SUCH AN IDIOT. 25 00:02:01,500 --> 00:02:03,200 NOW THE NEWS MEDIA GONNA COMPARE THIS GUY TO ME 26 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:08,500 SOMEBODY OUT THERE GOING TO MAKE MEMES OF ME AGAIN 27 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:13,400 PUTIN TALKED SHIT ON THE FUCKING SOVIETS FOR HOURS, BUT ALL HE HAS PROVEN 28 00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:16,400 ...IS THAT HE'S WAY LESS COMPETENT THAN I EVER IMAGINED THE SOVIETS WERE... 29 00:02:17,100 --> 00:02:21,300 THE GALLS ON THIS IMBECILE TO EVEN TALK ABOUT STALIN. 30 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:30,200 There's gotta be somebody better than Putin right. 31 00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:33,400 We can go find Pooh bear in Hebei province. 32 00:02:33,500 --> 00:02:36,300 That pussy is now our only hope. 33 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,400 Oh who am I joking. 34 00:02:42,500 --> 00:02:47,300 RELYING ON SUBHUMANS MAKE ME SICK 35 00:02:49,300 --> 00:02:52,200 THIS WORLD IS NOTHING LIKE BACK IN THE DAY 36 00:02:54,700 --> 00:02:55,900 I can't believe I got my hopes up for fucking Putin. 37 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:59,400 FUCK THIS GODDAMN PLANET, ILL DO IT MYSELF 38 00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:02,700 SOMEBODY FUCKING RESURRECT ME PLEASE 39 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:06,900 Dont worry, we are all very dead. This is just a meme. 40 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:16,400 Why can't I shape the world they way I want. 41 00:03:19,100 --> 00:03:23,100 I guess the world will never change. 42 00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:26,000 Fuck me. 43 00:03:31,700 --> 00:03:33,600 Back to my lonesome... 44 00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:44,700 If you people think I am giving up stopping the plague that is democracy. 45 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:49,300 You couldn't be more wrong. 46 00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:55,700 The time of National Socialism has yet to begin.