1 00:00:00,00 --> 00:00:03,800 Good morning Mr. Parker, we have great news for you. 2 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:06,800 We have clinched a playoff spot in the Gentlemen's League... 3 00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:16,300 And sent a strong message to the commissioner by beating the shit out of his team last week. 4 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:20,400 Perfect, with CMC back next week we will dominate even more. 5 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:24,700 Mr. Parker... 6 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,500 McCaffrey... 7 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:32,500 McCaffrey was placed on IR again. 8 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:36,200 So he's done for the season. 9 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:58,800 Anyone who isn't a starter on my roster, see your worthless asses out... 10 00:00:58,900 --> 00:01:03,700 11 00:01:09,300 --> 00:01:14,200 ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME AGAIN WITH THIS SHIT??? 12 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:19,000 HAMMIES, ANKLES, WHO GIVES A SHIT?!? 13 00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:25,000 Every year with this overpaid cocksucker... 14 00:01:25,100 --> 00:01:30,300 FIRST ROUND KEEPER MY FUCKING ASS! WAIVER SCHMUCKS ARE LAPPING THIS FUCKWAD! 15 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:32,500 BUT I FALL FOR THE SAME SHIT AGAIN AND AGAIN 16 00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:35,600 HE'S NOT EVEN WORTH THE IR SPOT, THAT UNGRATEFUL PRICK! 17 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:38,000 Mr. Parker, Sony Michel is projected to score 0.2 TDs this week... 18 00:01:38,100 --> 00:01:41,800 SONY MICHEL ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??? WHAT THE FUCK DOES 0.2 TOUCHDOWNS EVEN MEAN?!?!? 19 00:01:41,900 --> 00:01:43,900 Mr. Parker, JaMycal Hasty is available on waivers, if we act quickly... 20 00:01:44,300 --> 00:01:49,200 WHO THE FUCK IS THAT YOU DUMPY FUCKWAD?? WAIVER CLAIMS ARE BENEATH TEAM TONY FUCKING PARKER!!!! 21 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:53,900 YEAR AFTER YEAR I CURATE THE PERFECT TEAM 22 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:58,800 AND YOU GLASS SHITHEADS FALL APART WHEN IT MATTERS SO WE DO IT AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN... 23 00:01:58,900 --> 00:02:02,100 YOU THINK I ENJOY HAVING A MACAULAY CULKIN LOOKALIKE AS OUR FUCKING QUARTERBACK?!?!? 24 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:07,000 YOU THINK I ENJOY FUCKING HOME ALONE FLASHBACKS EVERY WEEK? WELL I FUCKING DON'T! 25 00:02:07,100 --> 00:02:11,900 AND I'M STUCK WITH THAT PRE-PUBESCENT BITCH BOY FOR TEN FUCKING SEASONS NOW! 26 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:15,700 THIS YEAR WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DIFFERENT! EMERGING FROM THE FUCKING TOILET BOWL TO BRING THE PAIN! 27 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:23,700 I'm going to have to litigate so much litter just to break even now... 28 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:27,800 It's not about the money though...or the cats who piss and shit all over the litter... 29 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:30,000 It's about pride. Cat's Pride! 30 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:41,600 You think it's a coincidence I draft Bengals and Panthers? I FUCKING LOVE CATS!!!! THEY ARE FUCKING ADORABLE!!!! 31 00:02:41,700 --> 00:02:45,000 WHY CAN'T THEY JUST LOVE ME BACK!? IS IT THAT HARD?!? 32 00:02:46,100 --> 00:02:52,000 I've been told not to mix business with fantasy...but the numbers don't lie! MORE CATS MEANS MORE CUTE! 33 00:02:52,100 --> 00:02:55,000 BUT NOW I'M THE ONE BEING SHIT AND PISSED ON! IT ISN'T FAIR! 34 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:59,100 It's okay, he's actually a dog owner... 35 00:03:06,100 --> 00:03:08,800 Well, anything can happen in the playoffs... 36 00:03:10,100 --> 00:03:15,000 ...This was supposed to be so easy this year though... 37 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,800 CMC was my boy... 38 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:26,000 I'll just move the flex RB to the dedicated RB slot... 39 00:03:31,700 --> 00:03:36,700 Maybe 0.2 TDs from Michel will be enough...that's like almost 1.5 points, right? 40 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:40,800 And maybe a few yards on top of that...might even get to 5 points... 41 00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:47,000 It was a good season but it's over.