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[JON] We first of all, are gonna put on a 
quick short

2
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Um, which is a biopic of Oscar

3
00:00:05,930 --> 00:00:11,360
Um, which starts from a young age, and goes 
quickly and as inoffensively to me

4
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Through to my current stage in life

5
00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:16,700
Um and it’s about 90 seconds long

6
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Play!

7
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[SUSAN] Oh, what a beautiful baby boy

8
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[JOSH] What do you want to do with it, keep 
it?

9
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[SUSAN] Ooo, I think so

10
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And just like that, he became a teenager!

11
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[CHARLIE] Now, hello son

12
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I’ve got something for you, it’s called a 
talkie

13
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Watch this film and see how it changes your 
life

14
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[SHIELDS] Oh movies! That’s a good replacement 
for actual social life

15
00:00:42,140 --> 00:00:43,010
[NANCY] So like, so like what do we do here?

16
00:00:44,010 --> 00:00:46,020
You just like, invite me to your room and 
we just watch films and what?

17
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I thought I was gonna get –

18
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[SHIELDS] What? What did you think you were 
gonna get?

19
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[NANCY] No –

20
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[SHIELDS] It clearly begins with a F, what 
did you think –  [JON] PAUSE!!

21
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Why why why

22
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Like literally not for 60 seconds why can’t 
we just make the film not offensive or not 
really gross and sexual?

23
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What like - it’s like an infliction

24
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And also that’s my life and can I say

25
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Like, I had no girls in my bedroom until 
–

26
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Until like I was in my mid-twenties

27
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And even that’s being generous to me okay?

28
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I lived that life, it was much more tragic 
than that

29
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Play

30
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[NANCY] Some French fries

31
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[SHIELDS] So you were gonna get French fries

32
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I know I part of promised you French fries 
but I didn’t have any French fries it was 
a lie

33
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[NANCY] You made me watch four art house 
films I’m leaving

34
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[SHIELDS] It was all French lies, oh she’s 
gone

35
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[HEN] Oscar, look into the television

36
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It is the movie talking to you

37
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[JON] Pause

38
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The movie sounds very much like ASDA, it 
must be said

39
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Play

40
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[HEN] I also run a chain of supermarkets

41
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I have an idea

42
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Perhaps instead of just watching movies

43
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You should create some

44
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[NANCY] You’re never having seeeeex

45
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[SHIELDS] Aww

46
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[JON] Pause!

47
00:02:14,500 --> 00:02:16,000
Yeah

48
00:02:19,300 --> 00:02:22,000
Pretty accurate to be honest