1
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:06,900
We're currently running into pilot shortages 
affecting all of our bases and cripling our 
flying capacity respectivley.

2
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:16,100
We have crew scheduling sending out premium 
pay texts at all hours of the night, advertising 
things like a "wonderful tropical getway 
to Pasco" or an "unbeatable CDO in Yakima!"

3
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:23,600
Why are we having pilot staffing issues? 
Where are all our pilots going?

4
00:00:23,700 --> 00:00:26,800
My leader

5
00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:28,800
They're.....

6
00:00:30,500 --> 00:00:34,000
They're all going to Delta, Sir. Citing higher 
pay, Seattle Base out of training

7
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,300
and better Biscoff Cookies.

8
00:00:52,900 --> 00:00:58,700
If you haven't hosted a ramp hot dog party, 
breakfast burrito event, or sent a "Thanks 
For All You Do" email, then leave.

9
00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:17,200
WE JUST BROUGHT BUTTERED PRETZELS AND BOXED 
WATER TO THE OPERATION

10
00:01:19,100 --> 00:01:23,700
AND FANCY NEW JETS SO THE SENIOR CAPTAINS 
DON'T HAVE TO POOP ON THE Q

11
00:01:25,100 --> 00:01:27,600
Only Trent likes pooping on the Q anyway.

12
00:01:29,500 --> 00:01:33,900
WE WERE AIRLINE OF THE YEAR AND JUST BOUGHT 
A FLIGHT SCHOOL, WHY DOES NOBODY WANT TO 
COME HERE?

13
00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:40,000
150% PREMIUM PAY, ENDLESS CHEESE PLATTERS 
AND PUW BACON SHOULD BE ENOUGH!!

14
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:43,200
My leader, the cheese platters dropped the 
smoked gouda, and...

15
00:01:43,300 --> 00:01:46,800
I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE SMOKED GOUDA, THE 
HAVARDI HAS...

16
00:01:46,900 --> 00:01:48,300
My leader, we just want 4.2 on the jet

17
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:51,900
KEEP MY JETS NAME OUT YOUR EFFING MOUTH

18
00:01:52,000 --> 00:02:03,200
OR I WILL SEND IT TO PASCO....or worse....for 
a min rest overnight in Idaho Falls....where 
you'll be forced to dine at the local apple 
bees, wishing you had a 3 hour sit in SEA

19
00:02:03,300 --> 00:02:07,500
so you could shove another burrito bowl down 
your throat, and walk amlessley through C 
terminal

20
00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:15,100
deciding if you're going to cash in on your 
McDonald's app reward for a buy one McFlurry 
get the second one free, because that's...

21
00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:17,600
SUCH A GOOD DEAL

22
00:02:17,700 --> 00:02:22,500
Anyways.....WE HAVE AN ATTIRTION TSUNAMI 
AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

23
00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:32,200
We will write an email to the entire company, 
that we are going to completely dissovle 
the Q400 fleet. #HandFlyForHarambe

24
00:02:32,300 --> 00:02:37,100
AND FORCE EVERYONE TO THE JET....while rescinding 
all the new hire classes for the forseeable 
future.

25
00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:42,200
THIS will retain and attract new blood.

26
00:02:42,900 --> 00:02:46,900
AND ANYONE WHO COMPLAINS WILL BE JR MANNED 
TO ANC

27
00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:52,600
AND FORCED TO WEAR THE LULY LANG WINTER PARKA

28
00:02:53,500 --> 00:03:02,800
AND ETERNALLY EXPECTED TO WAIT FOR G2 AGENTS 
TO BRING THE WHEEL CHAIR YOU HAVE CALLED 
FOR 13 TIMES SINCE PARKING AT THE GATE ON 
GO HOME LEG

29
00:03:04,700 --> 00:03:07,600
It's okay...I hear the jet has so much more 
room for activities

30
00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:20,400
If we don't get more pilots ASAP...I will 
hault the ability

31
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:25,300
to drop trips in E-Crew Indefiniltey

32
00:03:26,700 --> 00:03:28,500
*mumbles* It's already like that....

33
00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:30,600
Yeah I can't drop shit

34
00:03:30,700 --> 00:03:33,400
The trick is....more nights...

35
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:41,900
...in the Coast Gateway

36
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:46,500
with their unblievabley YUGE supply of soft 
lotion, 5 star breakfast

37
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:51,400
and endless supply of skyrocketing crime 
within the immidate vicinity of the "paradise 
on earth"

38
00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:55,200
Ready, Safe, GO!