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Malcolm Turnfool, The one they thought was 
the great white hope.

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He is the Australian Prime Minister this 
week

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Anyway this year he made the Census online
 
 He told everyone their data would be safe

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We have a fool proof system

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So census night comes

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And he does his census with his fibre everywhere

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The rich mans NBN, so easy he tweets

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So anyway the poor people try to do the census

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on the poor mans copper NBN

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and boom the internet breaks

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not for a minute, not for an hour
  for TWO 
Days

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Every expert in the Government trys to explain

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oh we were hacked, yes hacked
  No wait, 
we were not hacked

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Now don't worry, your data is safe
  Trust 
us, we work for the Government

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There was NO data loss, nothing

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then of course there was no data loaded either

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Then Mr Turdface is so mad

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because the site crashed at 10am

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and they told him at half past eight that 
night

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There is no transcript of that conversation

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So he finally has a press conference

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and he says there was no data loss, really

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trust me I invented the internet

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they gave ABS 250 million dollars

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and what do they do?

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the ABS give IBM 10 million to do the job!

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you can't make this stuff up

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But really, your data is safe?

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the FBI, NASA and the Federal Reserve

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have all been hacked

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but not the Australian Bureau of statistics

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Anyhow Turncoat has to appear to be in charge

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so he finally says "heads will roll"

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He only has 67 seats in Parlement

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so you KNOW it won't be McCormack's head

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probably that Kalashnikov or whatever his 
name is

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The opposition dude is squawking like a turkey 
at Christmas

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And carrot top will want a Royal Commission

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and all Scott Morrison can think of

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is 25 million people paying $180 a day

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they don't fill out the census form