1 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,900 Sir, a few of the oldest living people’s birthdays are near. 2 00:00:03,500 --> 00:00:07,000 Susannah Mushatt Jones will be 116 if she lives to see July 9. 3 00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:11,200 Nabi Tajima’s 115th birthday will take place on August 4 if she makes it. 4 00:00:11,700 --> 00:00:15,700 Other birthdays are far away as some supercentenarians just had them. 5 00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:21,300 Like Jeralean Talley, who is the world’s oldest living person. 6 00:00:24,500 --> 00:00:25,500 My Fuhrer… 7 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:28,800 Jeralean Talley… 8 00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:33,000 Jeralean Talley passed away yesterday at age 116. 9 00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:35,900 The oldest living person is now Susannah Mushatt Jones. 10 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:58,800 Unless you were wowed at her lifespan as it was, you will leave. 11 00:01:12,900 --> 00:01:14,500 What the fuck?! 12 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:17,600 Jeralean Talley is dead?! 13 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:23,200 She just turned 116, and was in very good health for her age! 14 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:27,000 She was able to walk with the help of a walker! 15 00:01:28,900 --> 00:01:31,400 If she credited God to a long life, 16 00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:34,300 and God limited the life of mankind to 120, 17 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:40,200 Jeralean was just 116, doesn’t that give her four more years to live, but no, she’s gone now?! 18 00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:42,500 Sir, she was at least well past her 114th birthday… 19 00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:46,100 So what? She seemed like she’d live well past 116! 20 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:48,200 She’s the only person from the first half of 1899 to live to see age 114. 21 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:51,700 She was able to use her legs at fucking 116… 22 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,100 UNLIKE MISAO OKAWA! 23 00:01:55,400 --> 00:02:00,500 An age bubble collapse has to occur after no one born in the 1800s died in 2014… 24 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:03,800 Jeralean Talley is now the fourth from then to die in 2015?! 25 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:07,700 Will anyone born in the 1800s live to see 2016? 26 00:02:08,900 --> 00:02:13,600 Or will this practically become a 1900s only world this year? 27 00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:16,600 Not to mention me being from 1889… 28 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:21,500 There’s other people significant to me born in the 1800s, like Stalin! 29 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:36,400 Jeralean could still talk at 116, as well as sign her own name, and now she is gone from our lives! 30 00:02:41,100 --> 00:02:42,100 Fuck that… 31 00:02:42,900 --> 00:02:47,700 IF GOOD HEALTH AND GOOD SHAPE DON’T SAVE PEOPLE FROM IMMINENT DEATH… 32 00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:52,600 THEN WE MIGHT AS WELL SNACK ON ALL THE CHOCOLATE AND CHIPS IN THE WORLD LIKE GORING! 33 00:02:53,700 --> 00:02:55,800 Which is in fact what the two longest lived people did. 34 00:02:56,100 --> 00:02:59,200 Jeanne Calment ate chocolate every single week! 35 00:02:59,300 --> 00:03:02,800 And Sarah Knauss had not just that, but potato chips and pretzels! 36 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:06,800 Don’t cry, we weren’t born in the 1800s. 37 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:16,500 Maybe it is good to eat food you like, even if they’re not healthy. 38 00:03:19,100 --> 00:03:23,600 Susannah Mushatt Jones eats four strips of bacon… 39 00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:26,100 Every morning… 40 00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:33,300 And now she’s the WOP. 41 00:03:40,500 --> 00:03:41,900 If she can have bacon… 42 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:46,000 And the two longest lived people can snack on chocolate… 43 00:03:46,300 --> 00:03:48,800 Then I can chuck on cupcakes. 44 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,100 Please order me some.