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We first saw the image on Twitter, Boris.

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00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:08,300
A £6 tub of Lurpak at Asda. It's £7.25 at 
Waitrose.

3
00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:15,900
The cost of living crisis is finally hitting 
Tory voters. What are they meant to do, buy 
own-brand spread?

4
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:20,800
Enough about grease. What else is happening 
on Twitter? Anything?

5
00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:29,800
Boris... Rishi...

6
00:00:29,900 --> 00:00:36,100
Rishi Sunak and Sajid Javid have tweeted 
their resignation. They said the government 
can't go on like this.

7
00:00:53,200 --> 00:01:01,600
Everyone out. Except Nadine, Priti and Zadhim.

8
00:01:13,700 --> 00:01:22,400
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? I THOUGHT THIS 
PINCHER NONSENSE WAS IN HAND - I MEAN SORTED 
OUT!

9
00:01:22,500 --> 00:01:27,300
Now you're telling me that Rishi and Sajid 
have left?

10
00:01:30,900 --> 00:01:35,900
Nadine, you said that going full culture 
war on Channel 4 was going to distract everybody!

11
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Just in time for Chelsea fucking Clinton 
to do a cameo in the Derry Girls finale!

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Boris, I had no idea people would love Derry 
Girls this much. It's unfortunate but –

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Shut the FUCK up! And will you STOP Whatsapping 
me extracts from your new novel at night!

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00:01:46,100 --> 00:01:49,000
Boris, I thought you enjoyed getting sneak 
peeks of my new romance, Angels of Number 
10 –

15
00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:53,000
No, I DO NOT. I fucking HATE it.

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You are a TERRIBLE writer.

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And Priti, I thought you said deporting brown 
people to Rwanda would get our numbers up

18
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Now it turns out the only person the British 
public want to deport is ME. And Rishi and 
Sajid are all too happy to help them.

19
00:02:09,500 --> 00:02:14,300
I knew I shouldn't have laughed at them when 
they told me they were going to watch the 
new Minions film.

20
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But those tiny yellow freaks just make my 
fucking skin crawl and I CAN'T HELP IT.

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At least nobody else in Cabinet has resigned. 
They don't have the balls to stick the knife 
in the Big Dog.

22
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After everything I've done for this party... 
All the credit I took for things that had 
nothing to do with me...

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All the lies I told to get the public on 
our side... This is how they treat me? They 
want to toss me aside like Matt Hancock's 
wife?

24
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If it wasn't for me, Jeremy Corbyn would 
be PM and we wouldn't be able to hand our 
crony friends all those NHS contracts!

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00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,700
Don't cry, Will Quince, we'll get our chance 
to resign soon.

26
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That's it. I've got no other choice now. 
It really is the dregs left. Nadhim, you're 
the new Chancellor.