1
00:01:09,900 --> 00:01:16,000
Of course when I say co-operate and be enthusiastic 
what I really mean is we'll be the worst 
neighbours possible.

2
00:01:16,100 --> 00:01:20,900
You've had a taste of our racist ways now, 
wait till I can deport EU nationals.

3
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:25,800
There's over 3 million Brits living in the 
rest of the EU we don't give a shiny shit 
about.

4
00:01:25,900 --> 00:01:33,100
What we care about is getting the best deal 
for my party interests.

5
00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:38,000
We want to have the same access and benefits 
of EU membership as we do now.

6
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:46,600
But without the free movement of people, 
or the budget contribution, or any of the 
rules.

7
00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:56,900
We're happy to trade you terrorist information, 
there's a lot of far right activity in the 
UK, we aren't sure why.

8
00:01:57,000 --> 00:02:04,000
Britain leaving the EU is going to be difficult, 
there'll have to be some give and take.

9
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:16,700
When we hear what you're going to give us, 
we'll tell you what we want to take in return.

10
00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:24,500
While I've been here I've pushed the issue 
of Russia, not least because we want to sell 
arms to NATO's armed forces,

11
00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:33,000
but also because I need to be at the centre 
of attention and we aren't allowed to discuss 
Brexit.

12
00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:45,000
Silly Europeans and their need to follow 
rules and procedures all the time, oh I don't 
know...

13
00:02:49,100 --> 00:02:55,100
What others call problems we call opportunities.

14
00:02:55,200 --> 00:03:05,000
Opportunities to appease a few million racists 
by deporting some of your lot.

15
00:03:05,100 --> 00:03:16,100
To tackle global migration we have a simple 
aim, make it really difficult to enter the 
UK.

16
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:24,000
52% of all Brits who ever lived definitely 
voted to leave to cut immigration numbers.

17
00:03:24,100 --> 00:03:34,100
So to make them feel special we are going 
to change the terms of the Refugee Convention.

18
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:41,600
Soon only those who are currently being physically 
persecuted can claim asylum in the UK.

19
00:03:41,700 --> 00:03:51,000
They will have to be in their homeland to 
be persecuted, and they'll also have to be 
in the UK to claim. Simultaneously!

20
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:56,700
Do you have Attorney General Jeremy Wright 
on the line?

21
00:03:56,800 --> 00:04:02,100
Yes he says the verdict is coming through 
by coded telegraph of all things.

22
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:06,200
We also had word from the EU, they will be 
conducting most negotiations in French.

23
00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:10,000
I don't speak French, the sneaky bastards.

24
00:04:10,100 --> 00:04:12,500
The Attorney General should be back at his 
desk now.

25
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:19,000
What date have the Remoaners got their appeal 
then?

26
00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:21,100
Not yet.

27
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:22,300
I can't wait to announce that only I am sovereign.

28
00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:25,700
Almost ready Prime Minister.

29
00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:29,600
Headlines tomorrow "Brexit victory" I see 
it now...

30
00:04:29,700 --> 00:04:39,700
The verdict is in. It appears that Parliament 
is sovereign and must vote to invoke Article 
50.

31
00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:46,000
We lost on all of our case arguments, the 
Supreme Court appeal begins in a month. I'm 
sorry.

32
00:04:46,100 --> 00:04:56,100
Fucking useless, that's what you are. You're 
in the cabinet because you're not an expert, 
why weren't you able to do this?

33
00:04:56,200 --> 00:05:01,000
Those bastard Remainers and their incessant 
crowdfunding plans.

34
00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:05,900
I'll have Gove do the French speaking, he's 
quite convincing.

35
00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:11,500
Prime Minister what do we do if Parliament 
blocks Brexit?

36
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,600
Kill them!

37
00:05:16,500 --> 00:05:22,000
This is ridiculous we have a hole the size 
of China in our Treasury.

38
00:05:22,100 --> 00:05:26,900
Fucking Leadsom talking crap about jam. Do 
you know we'll have to increase Strawberry 
yields by some 150 million tons to even come 
close to what we'll lose.

39
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:31,800
112,173,600,000 pots of jam, a year. Nobody 
likes jam that much.

40
00:05:31,900 --> 00:05:32,500
I like jam.

41
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,000
I prefer Marmalade.

42
00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:38,900
You'll fucking have jam and like it.

43
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:42,500
Get after him, tell him we'll let him have 
seedless.

44
00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:44,700
I quit, give me the number for the jobcentre.

45
00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:45,800
You mean we can quit? I really want to.

46
00:05:45,900 --> 00:05:46,900
Of course you can't quit, you have to remain.

47
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,200
Remain ha I voted Leave, I'm out of here.

48
00:05:49,300 --> 00:05:52,300
Put down that phone or I swear...