1 00:00:00,00 --> 00:00:02,200 We now come to Coatbridge South. 2 00:00:02,300 --> 00:00:07,100 It's a ward with strong Labour backing in Whifflet and Kirkshaws. 3 00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:10,400 Geraldine will be our female candidate. 4 00:00:10,500 --> 00:00:14,300 That means we also need a male candidate for the ward. 5 00:00:15,900 --> 00:00:19,200 I am the CLP Secretary and wish to stand. Do I have a seconder? 6 00:00:22,900 --> 00:00:24,100 Andrew... 7 00:00:26,100 --> 00:00:27,100 Tom Connelly... 8 00:00:28,100 --> 00:00:33,100 We're backing Tom Connelly. He's an old Catholic bastard like us. 9 00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:55,300 I want to speak to Mary, Jim, Tom and that fuckwit Lamond. 10 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:10,600 What the actual fuck?! 11 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:14,200 Not one of those bastards would second me?! 12 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:19,000 They can't handle my shit-hot Presbyterian socialism! 13 00:01:21,300 --> 00:01:23,200 Or maybe its because I don't take orders from Rome?! 14 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:26,200 Tom Fucking Connelly?! 15 00:01:27,300 --> 00:01:29,000 We might as well offer communion as an election giveaway! 16 00:01:30,100 --> 00:01:35,800 I'm not good enough to stand yet we're running a fucking woman who thinks Sturgeon will turn her grandweans black?! 17 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:38,200 Andrew, you should come to Ward 6... 18 00:01:38,300 --> 00:01:41,100 For fuck sake, Scott! Fight your own political battles! 19 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:43,000 Andrew, I'm too busy running Scotland's canals! 20 00:01:43,700 --> 00:01:47,900 Just like them, you're full of absolute shite! 21 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:49,200 This is a humiliation! 22 00:01:49,300 --> 00:01:55,200 I have been CLP Secretary for years now and had to campaign for Hugh Gaffney and Michael McPake! 23 00:01:55,300 --> 00:01:58,100 A fucking postman and a speccy prick banned from every local boozer! 24 00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:02,100 But tonight has truly been eye-opening... 25 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:07,000 That my chance to get on the Council is in the hands of coffin-dodging Catholics! 26 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:10,100 And fucking Vincent Grant! 27 00:02:11,100 --> 00:02:15,000 I'd have been better off joining the Greens like that spastic, Bazga! 28 00:02:20,100 --> 00:02:22,900 This is sectarianism. 29 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:27,100 I am a god-loving, Rangers man! 30 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:30,300 One of the smallest minorities you could get out here! 31 00:02:34,100 --> 00:02:35,200 I mean for fuck sake! 32 00:02:35,300 --> 00:02:40,100 I thought Labour was meant to be for minorities! 33 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:45,000 They should have had a fucking shortlist just for me! 34 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,100 Well, the only way to get selected in Coatbridge... 35 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:51,900 Is to hate gays and go on about fucking mass... 36 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:55,000 So, I might as well do a Hugh and go kiss the Bishop's ring! 37 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,100 Don't worry, Hugh, the Bishop still likes you. 38 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,000 The tragedy is I had real ideas for Lanarkshire... 39 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:14,000 The Monklands Canal could have been at the heart of a new Lanarkshire republic... 40 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,000 What a beautiful vision... 41 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,000 Scotland united under Lanarkshire's flag. 42 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:35,800 Instead, we can look forward to Mary Gourlay forming a National Front caucus of Labour. 43 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:38,100 And boasting about illegally visiting vulnerable people during a fucking pandemic. 44 00:03:43,700 --> 00:03:45,000 I'm resigning as Secretary.