1
00:00:00,00 --> 00:00:02,800
The invasion is going just as planned mein 
Fuhrer

2
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:07,700
We have successfully captured the Southern 
towns of Melitopol and Kherson

3
00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:11,000
We are now working on taking Mariupol

4
00:00:11,100 --> 00:00:15,900
But we are having difficulty as our ships 
cannot get in range

5
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:20,800
The Moskva will make it all right

6
00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:29,000
Mein Fuhrer...The Moskva...

7
00:00:29,100 --> 00:00:33,000
The Moskva was hit by two Ukrainian Neptune 
anti-ship missiles

8
00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:35,800
It has now sunk

9
00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:58,600
Only Lavrov, Shoigu, Patrusev, Medvedev and 
Gerasimov stay in the room

10
00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:14,300
That was a mistake!!!

11
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:18,300
Letting our Flagship close to those Ukrainian 
Nazis was a mistake!!!

12
00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:23,200
How was that ship hit by missiles? We fitted 
with all the newest Russian anti air systems!

13
00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:30,800
The Admiral told me that they would be too 
slow and pose no threat to our ships!

14
00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:34,500
The guys on Snake Island were telling us 
to f*ck off and we did just that

15
00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:40,200
First the Orsk and now the Moskva...By the 
end of this war, there will be no Russian 
Navy left!

16
00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:42,700
Mein Fuhrer, it doesn't matter it was an 
old ship

17
00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:46,300
It was the Flagship of the Black Sea Fleet

18
00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:48,500
Mein Fuhrer, we were going to replace it 
anyways

19
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:52,200
It doesn't matter if it was old, it just 
shows how idiotic our Navy is!

20
00:01:52,300 --> 00:01:54,200
Just like our Army!

21
00:01:56,000 --> 00:02:00,400
Do you think India or China will ever buy 
our military equipment after this???

22
00:02:00,500 --> 00:02:04,100
The Ukrainian farmers have more tanks now 
than all our sources in the South!

23
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:08,000
It was not enough that we lost all our elite 
units

24
00:02:08,100 --> 00:02:12,900
But we now rely on the glorious "Tik Tok" 
batallion to gain victory in the South

25
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:17,100
All they do is fight invisible enemies before 
posting it on Tik Tok

26
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:22,000
And my top generals are more prone to death 
than they were under Stalin

27
00:02:25,900 --> 00:02:30,000
I just want my Soviet Empire back

28
00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:31,800
When we were a global power

29
00:02:31,900 --> 00:02:34,000
A superpower!

30
00:02:34,100 --> 00:02:39,200
Now we have to made do with North Korea and 
Syria

31
00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:42,000
And that clown from Belarus...

32
00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:47,500
He showed my entire battleplan to the entire 
world on live television!

33
00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:52,500
I did not know such incompetence was possible, 
even from a puppet clown

34
00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:56,200
Now we have been hit with all these sanctions 
as well...

35
00:02:56,300 --> 00:02:59,400
How will I be able to go on holiday in my 
superyacht now

36
00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:03,200
It'll be sanctioned as soon as it leaves 
Russia

37
00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:08,100
It will be ok, we have hidden accounts

38
00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:17,200
Even India is considering stopping their 
fuel orders

39
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:24,000
Russia... No, I am never going to financially 
recover from this

40
00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:26,700
We're f*cked

41
00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:34,500
The trick is hiding it

42
00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:42,500
So long as the people do not find out

43
00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:47,400
They will believe my propaganda to the grave 
and beyond

44
00:03:47,500 --> 00:04:00,000