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Good morning! Now a very good morning!

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My friends, for everyone's sake,

3
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I was up until a few hours ago watching the 
Superbowl, the so called Superbowl

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I had never watched it before

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in order to now present a sort of journalistic 
piece

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and to provide some general thoughts.

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So go on, did you watch it all?

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Yes Pedro, I did watch it and normally since 
we don't have this sport here

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and we don't quite get it would be tempting 
to react arrogantly and call it total stupid

10
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Well, in this case the temptation is fully 
justified: it is in fact totally stupid

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Come on, maybe it is as stupid as your dear 
football.

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No! 
It already starts badly because as you 
all know,

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it was a match between the New England Patriots 
[badly pronounced] and the Atlanta Falcons 
[badly pronounced]

14
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in other words...I don't care, they also 
don't pronounce our words correctly, so I 
also will not...

15
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Someone has to stand up for us.

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This means, therefore, the Patriots of New 
England against the Falcons of Atlanta

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These are teams which should not be allowed 
to compete in the same championship

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since one is an animal while the other is 
a personal characteristic

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Here we have Eagles vs. Lions, which makes 
sense,
Lions vs. Dragons, fine

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Now Patriots vs. Falcons 
makes no sense.

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It would be like having the Los Angeles Bears 

vs. the Kentucky Jeleous

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Or the Miami Dophins 
vs. the Seattle Distracted

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I should be a fan of the Distracted, 
but 
most likely forgot date of the game and wouldn't 
show up.

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Which is only fair, Markl.

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Someone else who seems to be distracted is 
the referee, because the game is composed 
by 4 15-min chunks,

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but ends up taking 5 hours.

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One tries to go to be bed but can't 
because 
they are wasting time...

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for each minute of play there is 10 mins 
of talk

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back and forth etc. and lets get a burger.

30
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And Ricardo, from the point of view of a 
Portuguese, used to our football, what does 
the game look like?

31
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So Vasco, it looks like the 11 guys 
from 
the Telepizza [pizza delivery company]

32
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got into a fight with 11 guys from Pizza 
Hut.

33
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You can't quite tell where they left their 
delivery scooters, but they are all still 
wearing the helmets.

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And this leaves the viewer feeling uncomfortable, 
because while they are throwing punches

35
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someone is waiting for 22 4 seasons with 
extra cheese. You see?

36
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You its this, they are pizza delivery guys...
...having 
a fight.

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But did you get the rules or not?

38
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So lets see, Pedro, they are constantly chasing 
the 
so called ball

39
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they simply say "ball", 
but I will always 
refer it as so called ball

40
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because I'm someone who respects the laws 
of geometry, as you all know.

41
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But it is extremely irritating watching the 
game 
when the commentators making reference 
to a ball

42
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I spent 5 hours shouting at the TV: "It is 
not a ball! It is not!"

43
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Neither I or Euclides of Alexandria define 
it as a ball!

44
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People in your neighborhood must really like 
you!

45
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Yes, the neighbors live far away, 
so its 
fine I can yell at 5 in the morning

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So, the game starts. And one of the Telepizza 
guys throws the so called ball to another 
one, who is further away.

47
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And they say, "Excellent pass". 
Throwing 
the ball [by hand]? No man, pass with your 
foot!

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Pass with your foot! Throwing the ball is 
too easy! Reminds me of when I was playing 
with my daughters and they were always picking 
up the ball.

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And I would constantly be saying, "No, not 
with your hand, play with your foot"!

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Nuno: "Balling the throw" even I can.

51
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Of course, throwing the ball is easy, Nuno.

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Nuno: "Balling the throw" even I can.

53
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Indeed, throwing the ball even you can do 
it, Nuno.

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Nuno: "Balling the throw" even I can 
Throwing 
the ball(!) even I can

55
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Nuno: Did I just say "balling the throw"? 
I'm so stupid.  
Yes, some 2-3 times! 
Nuno: 
Throwing the ball even I can...

56
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It is still quite early.
Vasco: do you want 
to say it just one more time? 
Nuno: Throwing 
the ball even I can!

57
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Nuno: we have to get back to the script.

58
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And that's the thing, one can't quite tell, 

since the objective is to fake the ball

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One doesn't quite know who has the 
so called 
ball.

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Because the guys from the Telepizza don't 
want the Pizza Hut who has the so called 
ball,

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And so we can only tell who has the so called 
ball because he is the one who has highest 
number of people who want to kill him

62
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So this is another cool difference w.r.t. 
our football.

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They define things differently to us.

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They say, "beautiful play"!
While we would 
say, "immediate red card".

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We would say, "Ah, he is just throwing himself 
on the ground"
while they say "Amazing goal!"

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So apart from throwing themselves to the 
ground, 
they have to kick the so-called 
ball right?

67
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Indeed, they do. They have to kick the so 
called ball, in what is a type of penalty 
kick without goalkeeper

68
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And the objective is to get the so called 
ball through a U.

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If they get the ball through the U, 
they 
get points.

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And who says if the ball went through the 
U, is the referee.

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And just like the coaches, 
looks like someone 
who works in a call center.

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Since they all wear headsets, and every once 
in a while chat. 
Most likely they are talking 
to the person waiting for the pizzas.

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Just one more moment please, we are working 
on it.

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And in the middle of all this, as we are 
watching the game, everything stops.

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Because Lady Gaga wants to give a concert.

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Which is weird, because we are watching football 
and then all of a sudden Lady Gaga.

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And the public have to change mood from

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football fan to concert goer, in other words, 
have to go from "You dumb ref, thats not 
a foul" to

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"You are amazing, play that one song".

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And so an uncomfortable feeling arises.

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Lady Gaga rapels down from somewhere

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It seems like there was also music, but the 
most important items were fireworks, rappel 
and drones.

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An actual swarm of drones

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and in the meantime, 
I fell asleep

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And Ricardo, who won the game?

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I'm not too sure, because I fell asleep...

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