1 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:12,300 Welcome, Neo. 2 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:20,100 The Band Director is waiting for you. 3 00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:22,700 A word of advice... 4 00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:26,700 ...don't touch the Beethoven bobble head. 5 00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:37,000 Neo... thanks for coming. 6 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:42,800 I hear you want to join the marching band. 7 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:47,300 Is it true a member died from lack of water breaks? 8 00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:50,400 No, that is a lie spreading on Twitter. 9 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:55,800 She died of heat exhaustion. 10 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:13,500 You must feel a bit like Alice in Wonderland. 11 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:16,600 How far down the marching band hole are you willing to go, huh? 12 00:01:16,700 --> 00:01:21,500 wearing those... funny looking hats in front of your friends... 13 00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:24,300 nursing a perpetual sunburn... 14 00:01:25,300 --> 00:01:29,200 that will persist through the summer and never heal. 15 00:01:29,300 --> 00:01:32,800 Doing push-ups on broiling hot blacktop. 16 00:01:32,900 --> 00:01:34,800 Does this frighten you, Neo? 17 00:01:34,900 --> 00:01:35,500 No? 18 00:01:35,900 --> 00:01:37,900 But why not? 19 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,900 Because I heard some things about the band bus. 20 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:47,000 I deny everything you ever heard about the band bus. 21 00:01:48,300 --> 00:01:51,900 Now here comes my recruiting speech. 22 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:55,400 The marching band can be a wonderful thing. 23 00:01:55,500 --> 00:01:57,800 Most of the time... it's fun. 24 00:01:57,900 --> 00:02:06,200 But sometimes you will be required to sell candy, and other things, at a 4000 percent markup. 25 00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:11,100 ...or more. Depending on my mood. 26 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:16,000 You must try to sell to everyone in your family. 27 00:02:16,100 --> 00:02:20,400 Again and again and again. 28 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:23,000 Do we ever play music? 29 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:28,100 We sometimes play music, while we do fake ballet. 30 00:02:30,700 --> 00:02:33,300 Music is a small part of marching band. 31 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:37,600 It must be memorized, and checked off as proof. 32 00:02:37,700 --> 00:02:43,100 If you do not, you will be shamed in front of the whole band. 33 00:02:43,700 --> 00:02:46,200 ...and forced to sell extra candy. 34 00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:51,100 You must always march in step. On the beat. 35 00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:57,900 If you do not, you will be humiliated on the performance video. 36 00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:01,000 But why? 37 00:03:04,500 --> 00:03:07,900 Because it's tradition, Neo. 38 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:16,000 We do many things out of tradition that make no sense to anybody. 39 00:03:16,100 --> 00:03:20,500 You must blindly follow these traditions. 40 00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:27,600 Now you must decide... 41 00:03:27,700 --> 00:03:32,500 Which section of the marching band you will join. 42 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:37,400 There are two primary sections. 43 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:49,300 Each is important... each has a role. 44 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:53,500 If you take this, the blue pill, 45 00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:57,000 you will become a musician, and begin selling band candy. 46 00:03:57,800 --> 00:03:58,700 But take the red pill, 47 00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:00,900 You will become a drummer, 48 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:06,400 and never learn to read music, or get a job after high school. 49 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,500 Remember... 50 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:20,400 ...marching band will become your life. Your only life. 51 00:04:22,900 --> 00:04:27,900 Color guard chicks love drummers! 52 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:30,800 53 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:37,000 Now let's get to practice!